Sunday, October 31, 2010

Chapter 7-That Boy is a Monster

I stood in the living room too shocked to even move when Patrick shouted what he had just did.

“You’re the mother of my child, I should be able to fuck you when I want.”

“Patrick that was totally uncalled for,” I suddenly replied finally finding the words to say, “You’re an asshole, you know that, right?”

“I’m an asshole,” he laughed, “Toews is the one parading around like he is the father of my daughter and you’re calling me the asshole?”

“Leave Jon out of this,” I snapped. I was ready to kill him at any moment, “He’s been there for me unlike you, Mr. Jack Daniels.”

“Real mature, Kaicee, really, that’s such a great comeback. I think you’ve been hanging around Jon a little too much that your insults are getting lame just like his.”

“Fuck you, Patrick,” I spat as I grabbed my car keys and purse off of the table in the hallway.

“Where are you going?”


“Airport? For what?”

“I told you that if we had one more fight and you hurt me again, I was going to New York City and that’s where I’m going.”

“You don’t have clothes or a bag packed, you dumbass.”

“Hello, my aunt just had my cousin last year and we’re the same size, I’ll get by. By the way, the only dumbass is you because you’re letting me leave without fighting for your child, that’s pretty pathetic on your part.”

“I love my daughter, I just don’t love you.”

I didn’t even give him the pleasure of getting a response out of me before I walked out slamming the door behind me.

Before I pulled out of the garage of Patrick's apartment building, I called Erica.

“HE SAID WHAT,” Erica screamed as I told her what Pat had said.

“He basically came out and told me that he should be able to have sex with me whenever he wants because I’m the mother of his child and that he should be the only person allowed to have sex with me.”

“Fucking douchebag, you just wait until I get a hold of him.”

“It’s not worth it anymore Erica, it’s beyond threatening him and kicking his ass. I’m so fed up, I just want to come home to Buffalo.”

“Don’t stay there if you’re not happy, Kaicee. I know you are only staying because of Jon but come on, even Jon wants you to be happy.”

“I just wish Patrick would act differently. There are days he’s happy about Kendall and then there are days where he could give two shits.”

“Just leave, Kaicee. You’re my best friend and I hate it that my brother is standing there hurting you every single day and you are putting up with it because you want Kendall to have a father. Kendall deserves to be happy too and she won’t be happy living in a household where her parents fight all of the time.”

“You’re right,” I replied.

“Go back home, ignore him, get some sleep, and call me in the morning.”

“Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Remember what I said and please promise me you’ll think about coming home.”

“I will, thanks Erica, it means a lot that you and your family care.”

“Anytime, love you skank.”

“Love you too hoebag.”

I hung up the phone and pulled into the Starbucks parking lot. I know caffeine is bad to drink when you’re pregnant but the double chocolatey chip frappucinos are made with cream and not coffee and that is what I was craving right now.

My phone rang breaking me out of my trance and I saw that it was Patrick calling me. I hit ignore and set my phone back down on the table as I started reading a book about pregnancies.

When I left the coffee shop, it was almost eight o’clock. Patrick was probably out on the town with Bur and Sharpie so I headed home to take a hot bath, get something to eat, and then go to sleep.

I walked into the house and closed the door behind me. I locked it and walked down the hall to my bedroom. I was in the middle of getting undressed to take a shower when I felt Patrick come up behind me and start kissing my neck.

“Patrick, stop it,” I replied as he bit down and I let out a scream.

“Even though you hate me and we fight all of the time, I still find you extremely sexy,” he whispered in my ear and he turned me around to face him. Before I could protest, he locked his lips on mine.

“I ca-can’t,” I whispered.

“You know I still have that effect on you when I do this,” he said running his finger down my arm as I closed my eyes. I didn’t need to see that he had a smirk on his face because I heard it in his voice, “Or when I do this,” he whispered as he ran his hands over my breasts.

Before I knew it, we were back to where we started and how we got into this mess in the first place.

“God, you’re so tight,” Patrick groaned against my lips as he entered me without a condom. What’s the use in using protection when you’re knocked up anyways.

Jon was in the back of my mind as Patrick began moving in and out of me. I pushed all the hatred I had for Patrick into the back of my mind as we both let out our frustrations.

I was screaming Patrick’s name as I came and he collapsed on top of me caressing my stomach. Suddenly coming to my senses, I shot up out of the bed and began screaming at him.

“YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE,” I screamed through tears as a smirk appeared on his face.

“You weren’t just saying that five minutes ago when you had no problems with me fucking you senseless.”


“Just did,” he smirked as I drew my fist back and punched him in the face. I knew he was going to have a black eye and quite frankly, I didn’t care. He deserved it.

“You are fucking impossible and I hate you. I wish I never even met you.”

I threw on a pair of sweatpants and grabbed a hoodie before I grabbed my purse and keys and got into my car again. This time, I need to go see the one person who could take away all of the pain and the one person that could make me smile no matter how bad I was feeling.

“JONNY,” I cried into the intercom, “Please wake up, I need you.”

“Kaicee,” he said greeting me at the front door immediately pulling me into his arms, “Sweetie, what happened?”

“Patrick, he,” I began before I started sobbing. I couldn’t even get the words out as he led me to the elevator.

He held me and whispered soothing words into my ear the whole way as I cried into his chest.

“What happened, Kaicee?”

“Patrick and I were fighting earlier and I left the house. I went to the Starbucks down the street and when I went back home, I was in my room getting undressed to take a shower when he came in started kissing my neck, long story short, one thing led to another and before I could even think we were having sex. I know it was wrong, Jonny, but I thought that maybe if I had sex with him we’d stop fighting. Jonny, I’m so sorry.”

I saw his jaw clench and him curl his fist into a ball but before he could do anything that would get him into trouble, I gave him a kiss on the lips and I felt him tense for a moment before he started kissing back.

“Just kiss me, Jonny, please make me forget him.”

There we stood in the middle of Jon’s living room kissing like our lives depended on it.


Kaicee and Jon stood in the middle of his living room kissing like it would be the last kiss that they ever shared.

“Kaicee, I’m not mad at you, technically we’re not official yet but after tonight when you told me you had sex with him, it just made me realize that I want you to commit to me and only me and I’ll commit to you and only you. I like you a lot and I’m jealous of Patrick right now. I want you to want me and I want to be there for you but I need you to be honest with me, do you love him?”

“I don’t love him, Jon and I never will,” Kaicee replied and Jon smiled before giving her a kiss.

Neither one of them knew that Patrick was standing on the other side of the door about to knock and apologize to his best friend and the mother of his daughter. Neither one of them saw the hurt that was in the young hockey player’s face as he heard the woman he was slowly beginning to care for say words that cut him like a knife.

Patrick didn’t know why he cared but he did and hearing the mother of his child say that she never would love him broke his heart but he was Patrick Kane, he could have any girl in the world he wanted. One chick wasn’t going to bring down his game, he wanted this baby to tame him but clearly that wouldn’t be the case because the mother was a selfish bitch who only cared about herself.

She ate his brain with false thoughts and she was slowly eating his heart with her words.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Chapter 6-My Little Girl

“Are you ready to go,” Pat asked as I nodded my head and he stuck his hand out to help me up off of the couch.

“Oh God, I’m sick of being pregnant already.”

“Here let me help you,” he said as I went to bend down and grab my purse.

“It’s okay, I got it,” I snapped.

“I was only trying to help.”

“When I want your help, I’ll ask for it.”

I didn’t know if it was my hormones or the fact that I have been so angry with him. I longed for the days where he and I didn’t fight and sometimes I wished we were both back in Buffalo locked up in his bedroom having sex.

“I’m sorry that I want to help you out.”

“Thanks for offering to help but it still doesn’t justify you lying to me for six months or the fact that you treat me like shit.”

“Can we please not fight today? We’re going to find out the sex of our baby so we can stop calling the damn thing ‘it.’ I really don’t want us being mad at each other, this should be a happy time.”

“You know it would be a happy time if you didn’t act like you’re a fucking frat boy.”

“Frat boy, really?”

“Oh please, Patrick. You go out with your buddies every single night and leave me home by myself while I’m pregnant with YOUR baby. I’m lucky Jon came along and actually cares about me and the baby.”

“Jon is not the father of this baby, I am.”

“THEN START ACTING LIKE IT,” I yelled before I broke down crying and snatched Patrick’s keys out of his hands.

I stormed out to the car and slammed the door behind me, “Are you going to stop being overdramatic?”

“Overdramatic? I’m being, overdramatic?”

“Uh, yeah you kind of are.”

“I’m fucking five months pregnant with your baby, you can act like you give a shit every once and a while.”

“Where did we go wrong, Kaicee,” Patrick asked while sighing as we pulled out of the driveway.

“You let your fame go to your head and turned into an alter ego that is someone other than yourself.”

“You really think that?”

“Yeah I do, Patrick. I’m tired of the fighting and talking about this. Every time we talk about it, everything is okay between us for fifteen minutes and then we are at each other’s throats.”

“What are you saying, Kaicee?”

“I’m saying that maybe me moving here was a bad idea, I know you wanted to be in the baby’s life but Patrick what fatherly things have you done for me or the baby?”

“I’m sorry I’m not perfect like Jon is.”

“See, there you go throwing Jon up to me again. Patrick, he’s your best friend, why do you hate the fact that he is with me?”

“I don’t hate that he’s with you, I hate that he’s pretending like he is the father of this baby.”

“Be honest, do you regret ever sleeping with me?”

“God no, I liked sleeping with you and would still be sleeping with you but we both made a mistake and we have to face it.”

“Yeah, we both made a mistake but Patrick, I’m the one dealing with it. You go out every night and act like you’re not going to be a father. That’s what makes me so angry with you.”

Patrick didn’t say anything and just continued driving. I leaned my head against the window and wiped away the tear that slid down my cheek.

It amazed me how he and I always managed to have heart to heart conversations about the way he was acting but always ended up fighting again as soon as the conversation was over. I know deep down he was excited about the baby but he had a funny way of showing it.

We pulled into the doctor’s office and I got out of the car without saying a word. When we got into the doctor’s office, my anger was quickly overtaken by a sudden joy when we went into the room after my name was called.

“Miss Carter and Mr. Kane, are you ready to find out the sex of your baby,” the nurse asked us while we waited for the doctor.

“I don’t know about him,” I replied sarcastically while I glared at Patrick, “But I am.”

“I take it that daddy over there is nervous.”

“Yeah, nervous,” I fake smiled and when the nurse turned around I rolled my eyes at Patrick who glared at me in return.

“Your blood pressure is 121 over 82 which is really good and your blood work came back okay from when you had flu like symptoms last week. Just change into the gown and Dr. Castro will be in as soon as he is done.”

“Have you thought about any more names,” Patrick asked and I shook my head no.

“I still like Kendall for a girl and Evan for a boy but I can’t think of anything that goes with either name.”

I unzipped my hoodie and took it off before I put the gown on and laid back down on the table. Patrick pulled the chair over from the corner to the side of the table and I closed my eyes suddenly feeling tired.

“Kaicee, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied smiling.

“I thought you passed out or something,” Patrick said sincerely and I didn’t know how to feel about him anymore.

“I’m just really tired, it’s not fun having someone play soccer on your bladder all night.”

Patrick laughed and placed his hand on my stomach and our baby immediately kicked. Even though Patrick and I fought all of the time, it was times like these I treasured because it gave me hope that maybe just maybe Patrick was going to be a great father.

“Good morning Miss Carter, Mr. Kane, are you guys ready to find out the sex of your baby,” Dr. Castro asked as he stepped into the room.

“Yes we are,” Patrick replied smiling.

Dr. Castro lifted my gown and I shivered when the cold gel hit my stomach and Patrick instinctively reached out and grabbed my hand. I didn’t pull away this time, I was too anxious right now and I felt like I needed his hand to hold onto for this whole thing.

“There’s the head, and the feet, and I can tell what gender the baby is, are you sure you want to know?”

“We’re sure,” I replied and Patrick gave my hand a squeeze.

“Congratulations Miss Carter and Mr. Kane you two are going to be the proud parents of a baby girl.”

“Oh my God,” I shrieked and Patrick laughed.

“Kaicee, everything looks good and you will be good to go as soon as I print these pictures out. Make sure you schedule a follow up appointment. Congratulations once again,” Dr. Castro said shaking both mine and Pat’s hands before he walked out of the room and I wiped the disgusting gel off of my stomach and put my hoodie back on.

“Kendall Chelsea,” Patrick blurted out.


“Our baby, we are going to name her Kendall Chelsea Kane.”

“Okay,” I replied, “I like it, a lot.”

When we left the doctor’s office, I pulled out my phone and immediately called Donna and Pat Sr. and told them the good news. They were both beyond thrilled that it was a girl but Pat Sr. was slightly disappointed that he wasn’t getting the grandson he was hoping for. Donna said she would tell Jackie, Jessica, and Erica as soon as they got home from wherever they were.

“Patrick, can you drop me off at Jonathan’s?”

“Yeah,” he replied coldly and I chose to ignore it.

We pulled up in front of Jon’s apartment building and I got out telling Patrick that I would see him later and I headed into the building. Jon buzzed me in and I walked down the hall towards the elevators.

“How’d it go today,” Jon asked when I walked into the apartment.

“Pat and I got into a huge fight this morning about mine and your relationship and then he was extremely nice at the doctor’s appointment. His bipolar disorder thing he has going on is really starting to get on my nerves.”

Jon just rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around me, “I wish I could tell you everything was going to change but honestly, I don’t know anymore with Kaner.”

“He said that he is sick of you pretending that you are the father of Kendall.”

“It’s a girl then,” Jon asked temporarily changing the subject.

“Kendall Chelsea Kane.”

“KC for short?”

“It’ll confuse the two of us so she’ll be Kendall for the time being.”

“I like it,” Jon replied kissing my cheek, “Are you going to the game tonight?”

“No, I don’t feel good and besides it’s still just you and Patrick that know I’m pregnant.”

“I was really hoping you’d go, you know we can always tell them that the baby is your ex-boyfriend’s.”

“What about Patrick?”

“What about him, Kaicee? He doesn’t care about how you feel so why do you care about his feelings?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered, “I just want him to be happy we’re having the baby. I didn’t want this but now all of the sudden I do. It’s so different now to me since I can feel her moving inside of me. I just wish I had created her with someone I loved and not someone I despise like Patrick.”

“Come on, I’ll take you home to get something to wear to the game tonight so I can introduce you as my girlfriend.”

I smiled to myself, Jon was everything Pat wasn’t. Jon was my only reason for staying in Chicago and not going back to either Buffalo or New York City like I threatened Patrick with so many times.

I hadn’t even noticed that Jon had disappeared into his bedroom until he sat down on the couch next to me and placed the black jersey in my lap.

“What’s this for,” I asked.

“Instead of me taking you home for clothes, you can wear that tonight on top of your sweatshirt.”

“Will it fit me?”

“All of our jerseys are given to us a lot bigger than the size we wear to fit over all of our equipment so it should fit you,” Jon said then quickly blushed, “Not that I’m calling you fat or anything.”

I laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek, “It’s okay Jon, I know what you meant.”

Jon smiled and I stood up and pulled the jersey over my head. It was loose even though I was five months pregnant.

“How does it look?”

“You look beautiful,” Jon said standing up from the couch and making his way over to me, “You look way better in that than I ever could.”

“Thanks,” I replied blushing and I put my head down. Jon lifted my face so that I was looking at him and he slowly leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the lips. We’ve hung out and have went on dates within the last month but neither of us made an effort to kiss each other.

I wrapped my arms around Jon’s neck and he kissed me harder. We both pulled away for air and smiled at each other.

“Don’t let him get to you, Kaicee,” Jon whispered giving me another kiss, “He’s not worth crying over.”

“I know.” I wrapped my arms around Jon and he gave me a hug and held me close to him.

“We should get going, I have to be at United Center in twenty minutes.”

“Okay, just let me pee and fix my make-up.”

Jon laughed and I walked down the hall to his bathroom and did what I had to do. He was waiting by the door when I was ready and we both left the house hand in hand.

We arrived at the United Center and I was nervous of how Patrick was going to react to Jon introducing me to everyone as his girlfriend.

“Good evening, Mr. Toews,” the security guard said to Jon.

“Hey Rob,” Jon greeted, “Kaicee, this is Rob, Rob this is my girlfriend, Kaicee.”

“So, this must be the infamous Kaicee you always talk about,” Rob said and Jon blushed and I squeezed his hand, “I’ve heard wonderful things about you Kaicee.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Rob. I wish I could say the same,” I replied causing both he and Jonny to laugh.

We walked down the hallway to the locker room and Jon went in first to make sure everyone was decent before he opened the door and I walked in with him behind me with his hand on my back.

“Everyone,” Jon spoke up and the guys all turned around to look at him, “This is Kaicee, my girlfriend.”

“I totally told you Jonathan was going to end up banging her, pay up Burish,” Patrick Sharp said to the taller man next to him and I laughed as Jon growled low enough for only me to hear.

“Hi Kaicee,” Patrick said coming over to me, “I’m Patrick, you know your baby’s father.” He said it only loud enough so that Jon and I could hear him and it took all I could not to lash out at him in the middle of the locker room.

“Hey Kaicee, here’s your ticket for the game, go head up to your seat while I speak to Patrick…alone,” Jon whispered handing me the ticket before I gave him a quick kiss and headed out of the locker room.


“What the hell was that about,” Jonathan Toews asked his teammate and best friend when they were out of ears reach in the hallway.

“I am so sick of you fucking parading around and acting like you are the father of this baby,” Patrick Kane snapped, “What gives you the right to bring her here?”

“I’m her boyfriend and unlike you, I want to be seen in public with her.”

“I don’t want the whole fucking entire city of Chicago to know that she’s pregnant and wait a second, you’re using her for publicity. I’ve been getting all of the media attention lately and you are jealous so you are going to make people think Kendall is yours.”

“Dude, you have officially lost your fucking mind,” Jon replied, “Are you serious with this shit right now? I like Kaicee…a lot. We share a lot in common and I feel bad for her honestly.”

“Why do you feel bad for her?”

“She’s pregnant to a piece of shit like you.”

“Oh really and who would you rather have her pregnant to?”


“Like I said, you are not the fucking father of Kendall so stop acting like it. She’s my baby and I will be in her life and if I have to learn to deal with you then you can learn to deal with me being the father of Kaicee’s baby.”

“Kaicee’s having a baby,” Patrick Sharp whispered to Adam Burish as they rounded the corner to spy on their two young teammates.

“Holy shit, who’s kid is it?”

“I don’t know, I just heard Kaicee’s baby.”

“Alright homos, what’s going on,” Adam asked as they rounded the corner to where the two men were.

“Nothing, we were just talking about Kaicee,” Jon replied.

“Which one of you knocked her up,” Patrick Sharp asked.

“Neither one of us, she’s pregnant to her ex-boyfriend.”

“Are you sure about that, Kaner? The way you two are acting it’s like one of you knocked her up?”

“Bur, she’s pregnant to her ex-boyfriend that’s why she’s living in Chicago with Kaner since her parents and him bailed on her.”

“You’re dating a pregnant chick, that’s kinky.”

“Shut the fuck up, Sharpie.”

“Come on we have a game to play,” Patrick Kane spoke up, “Let’s just forget this ever happened.”

The four men walked back into the locker room as if nothing happened but deep down Patrick Kane created his own personal vendetta against Jonathan Toews. Kendall was his little girl and he was damned if he was going to accept him acting like he was the father of his baby.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Chapter 5-You Like Her or Something

“Hey Kaner,” Jon said sitting his bag down on the floor before he pulled his shirt over his head so that he could start getting ready for practice.

“Yo dude, what’s up,” Patrick greeted his best friend and teammate.

“Same old stuff just a different day.”

“Talk to me Tazer, something’s up?”

“I’m fine, really I am.”

Pat smirked knowing that Jon was caught up on a woman. He only acted like this when he wanted to ask someone out but didn’t have the balls to do it, “You’re digging a chick, man, aren’t you?”

“Nnn-no,” Jon lied.

“Oh save it Jonny boy, I’ve been your teammate for almost three years now, I know this mood. Hell, the whole team does.”

“Fine but I need to talk to you…,” Jon began when Adam Burish walked into the locker room followed by Patrick Sharp.

“What’s up homos?”

“Fuck you, Bur,” Patrick laughed turning around to flip off one of his good friends and teammates.

“We’d both fuck that hot piece of ass that you have living at your place,” Patrick Sharp smirk and Jon tensed up. This didn’t go unnoticed by Patrick as Jon immediately rose to defend Kaycee’s honor.

“Don’t talk about her like that, Sharp,” Jon said.

“Why are you getting so defensive, Toe-ez, you like her or something?”

“After practice,” Jon whispered to Patrick who nodded his head. Jon glared at Sharpie one last time before he walked into the bathroom slamming the door behind him.

“Who the hell pissed in his queerios this morning,” Burish asked Patrick who just shrugged his shoulders.

“He’s just in a bad mood today for no reason.”

“I’ll say,” Patrick Sharp replied, “All we were doing was joking around about Kaicee but she is hot, please tell me you’ve tapped that.”

“God no,” Patrick lied, “She’s Erica’s best friend and like a sister to me, there’s no way I could do that.”

“Whatever dude,” Burish replied rolling his eyes, “If I lived with a piece of ass like that, I’d have her screaming all day and all night long.”

“It’s not like that with us, she’s in an awkward situation with her family right now and I volunteered to help her out.”

Adam and Patrick gave up their fight with their friend and youngest teammate and continued to get dressed. Jonathan came out of the bathroom fully dressed and grabbed his gloves, helmet, and mouth guard without speaking a word.

Once practice was over, reporters were everywhere asking the Blackhawks questions about their upcoming game against Vancouver.

Everyone filed out of the locker room leaving Jon and Patrick to themselves, “So, what do you want to talk to me about,” Patrick spoke first breaking the silence.

“It’s kind of difficult for me to say this knowing your situation with Kaicee and all but would you mind if I took her out sometime?”

“Not at all, why didn’t you just ask her out? It’s not like we’re dating or anything, I don’t even like her like that.”

“You don’t like her enough to take her out but you liked her enough to have sex with her,” Jon said with a puzzled look, “That’s a little hypocritical on your part.”

“Shut the fuck up, you sound like my sister,” Patrick said sighing and rolling his eyes.

“You don’t think it’s weird that I want to date a pregnant woman, let alone ask out the woman who’s carrying your baby?”

“Whatever floats your boat man, I mean if you like her then go for it.”

“I can’t believe you’re so calm about this and not ripping my head off right now.”

“Hey, I’m Patrick Kane, I can have any girl in Chicago I want.”

“You’re also five months away from being a father, you need to settle down a little bit.”

“I’m twenty years old, I’m not ready to settle down yet.”

“I often wonder why I’m friends with someone like you sometimes, I mean you didn’t even defend her when Bur and Sharpie were calling her a hot piece of ass. You’re unbelievable, no wonder Kaicee hates you,” Jon said grabbing his bag and walking out of the locker room slamming the door behind him leaving Patrick to wonder what Jon was talking about.

Normal POV

I had just finished getting done doing the dishes when I heard a knock at the door. I knew that if it was Patrick, he would have just used his key.

Looking through the peephole, I saw Jon standing on the other side, I undid the lock and opened the door. Jon looked up and smiled at me, “Hey Kaicee.”

“Hey Jon,” I said opening the door, “Patrick’s not here right now, he went to the bar with Adam and a couple of the other guys.”

“I know,” Jon replied nervously, “I came by to see you actually.”

I gave him a small smile and opened up the door wider so that he could come in, “How come you didn’t go out with the guys?”

“I don’t exactly hang around with Bur and Kaner that often since they’re the way they are.”

“Patrick is a pig and Adam is an even bigger pig so I don’t blame you for not wanting to go with them.”

Jon smiled and sat down on the couch, “You seriously watch this crap,” he said pointing to the rerun of Beverly Hills 90210 that was playing.

“Hey, there’s nothing else on to watch on a Saturday night so I watch this to pass the time when Pat leaves me alone.”

Jon closed his eyes and muttered something under his breath before he stood up, “Come on, go get dressed.”

“What,” I asked.

“I’m taking you out, now go get dressed.”

“Jon, are you insane? It’s almost nine o’clock.”

“I know what time it is, now please go get dressed.”

“Fine,” I said walking down the hall to the bedroom that has been mine for the past two months. I changed into a jogging suit of mine that still fit and grabbed my winter coat and boots. It was now November in Chicago and it was slightly cold outside.

“You look great,” Jon said smiling when I came back out into the living room.

“Oh please, I’m four months pregnant to Elmer Fudd, I can’t be that attractive.”

“You’re beautiful, I can promise you that.”

I couldn’t help but blush, Jon has been so nice to me since I got to Chicago. It was no secret with Jessica, Jackie, Erica, and myself that we all thought Jon was cute. Erica used to snap pictures of him when she’d go to Chicago and send them to me.

I thought Jon was just like the others, a conceited pig who wanted nothing but sex, but he wasn’t. He was a gentleman and it made me wonder why he was friends with Patrick.

“Thanks. Where are you taking me?”

“Have you eaten yet today?”

“Just a slice of pizza and some ice cream earlier, why?”

“Don’t ask questions, trust me, okay?”

“Okay,” I said smiling trusting him completely.

I grabbed my purse off of the floor in the dining room and followed Jon out of Patrick’s apartment. I locked the deadbolt on the door as Jon held the elevator doors open.

“Where are we going,” I asked as Jon sped off down the street in his SUV.

“You like steak?”

“I’m pregnant, I like everything,” I replied and Jon laughed.

“Have you ever been to N9NE?”

“Like Patrick takes me to fancy restaurants, I’m the mother of his child, not his girlfriend.”

“N9NE it is then,” Jon said smiling and I pulled out my phone texting Erica.

Guess who’s taking me to dinner right now?


A certain Canadian on your brother’s team

Like that answers the question, half of them are Canadian.

A certain captain


I’m in his car right now on the way to N9NE

OMG! That place is so expensive, Pat took us there the last time we were in Chicago

Is it wrong that I like Jon?

Not at all, I mean my brother is being a douche so do what you have to do

Alright, we’re in front of the restaurant. I’ll call you later.

‘Kay! Love you

Love you too, Rikki

“Let me guess, Erica’s freaking out that you are going out to dinner with me,” Jon asked smiling.

“What,” I blushed, “How did you know?”

“Wild guess since she’s always taking pictures of me.”

We both laughed as Jon held the door open for me. We had a table close to the back so no one recognized Jon and started a rumor that he was going to be a dad soon. It was the last thing that neither of us, Pat included, needed.

“How long have you known Pat?”

“Almost three years.”

“How long did you two sleep together within the three years?”

“We slept together for two years.”

“Wow! Two years and still no feelings involved, that’s interesting.”

“We both knew what we wanted out of that relationship but neither one of us expected me to end up pregnant.”

“Are you scared,” Jon asked.

“Of what,” I replied.

“Being a mom at nineteen years old or better yet having a baby with a guy who could give two shits about himself let alone another human being.”

“I don’t understand what happened to Patrick, I mean he was so for this pregnancy then I found out about Jenn and we have been at each other’s throats for the past two months. I’m scared to death I will have to raise this baby on my own since my parent’s kicked me out because Patrick and I refused to get married. I have no one else besides my other family members in New York City and Pat’s parents.”

“Don’t be scared,” Jon said grabbing my hand, letting his thumb rub over my knuckles, “There’s always going to be someone there to help you out.”

“It’s times like these when I wish my dad was still here,” I said wiping a tear away.

“You just said your parents kicked you out though.”

“My mom and step-dad kicked me out, my biological father was a New York City fireman and died in the World Trade Center.”

“I’m so sorry,” Jon whispered as he gave me a hug.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s just hard when I know he would have loved to meet his grandchild. He’d kill Pat for the way he’s been treating me.”

“I’ll kill him myself, he doesn’t deserve you.”

“I know he doesn’t.”

“Come on, let’s forget about Patrick. Tell me more about you.”

We had just finished eating and were waiting for the waitress to bring us our check so we could leave.

“My name is Kaicee Jones-Carter. I’m nineteen years old from New York City. I love the Yankees, Mets, Giants, and Jets. I hate the Rangers. To be honest, I hate hockey in general. It’s too violent with all of the fighting and hitting that goes on. No offense by the way, my dad died on 9/11 and my mom married her boss after dating for five years. We moved here two years ago, that’s when I met Erica. My favorite genres of music are rock and country and I love Nickelback and Carrie Underwood.

“So you hate hockey,” Jon said smiling, “I thought Pat had something to do with it but you hate how rough the sport is yet you love a sport where men tackle each other for seven points.”

“Shut up,” I replied laughing as we walked out of the restaurant and back to Jon’s car, “So, Mr. Toews, tell me more about you.”

“I’m Jonathan Bryan Toews, I’m from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. I have a brother named David, I’ve been playing hockey since I could walk. My favorite genre of music is rock but I do like rap occasionally. I’m the captain of the Chicago Blackhawks, I used to play for the University of North Dakota, and yeah that’s about it,” he replied grinning from ear to ear and we both laughed.

We drove around Chicago just talking and getting to know each other. It was nice to finally be able to talk to someone without wanting to kill them like I did with Patrick every day. Jon and I talked about everything we could think of from music to our childhoods.

Jonathan had me rethinking my whole philosophy on serious relationships, I was easily captivated by him. Patrick was the furthest thing from my mind, the only thing that made me think about him was the huge bump that was my stomach.

“Well, I had a really great time tonight. Thank you so much,” I said as Jon walked me upstairs.

“It wasn’t a problem at all, I enjoyed myself. So, can we do this again sometime?”

“As long as you don’t mind me being pregnant with the spawn of Satan then yeah we can.”

“Great, so how about Monday, are you free on Monday?”

“Yeah I am!”

“Great, I’ll pick you up at seven.”

“Goodnight Jon,” I smiled before I kissed his cheek.

“Goodnight Kaicee,” he replied before he walked down the hall.

I stuck the key in the door of the apartment and was shocked to see Patrick sitting on the couch. I looked at the clock on the wall and it was almost midnight. He usually stayed out until two or three in the morning.

“What are you doing home so early,” I asked.

“Why do you hate me?”

“I thought I told you that I didn’t hate you, I hate what you became.”

“Jon said you hate me.”

“To be honest, I do hate you sometimes. You go out and leave me here by myself. Patrick, I’m four months pregnant.”

“I’m sorry I have a life and you don’t.”

“It’s your fault that I don’t have a life.”

“Excuse me,” Patrick sneered.

“This is OUR baby, you’re not carrying it for nine months so you don’t give a fuck and think you can continue doing what you’re doing. You need to nut-up, be a man, and take care of this baby or I’m gone.”

“Yeah yeah, I’ve heard it all before.”

“PATRICK SHUT UP,” I said putting my hand on my stomach when I felt the baby kick for the first time.

“What’s wrong,” he asked jumping up off of the couch and suddenly became the Patrick that I knew.

“It kicked!”


“Give me your hand,” I said grabbing his wrist and placing his hand on my stomach and the baby immediately kicked again.

“That’s so weird,” he said smiling, “Weird yet cool.”

I smiled at him then immediately broke down crying, I don’t know if it was the hormones or the fact that Patrick was being nice to me.

I heard Patrick sigh and he wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back soothingly. I cried harder into his chest as I tried to fight him off but he didn’t let go.

Before I knew it, I cried myself to sleep. I woke up the next morning in my bed with Patrick lying next to me. I enjoyed the few minutes of peace because when he woke up we’d be at each other’s throats again.

I was slowly beginning to consider moving back to Buffalo but there was one person holding me back and that person wasn’t Patrick Kane, it was the brown haired, brown eyed boy known as Jonathan Toews, he as everything Patrick wasn’t and I was slowly beginning to fall for him.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Chapter 4-Got a secret, can't keep it

The tension between Patrick and me the next day could have been cut with a knife. Donna and Pat knew why Patrick and I weren’t getting along but Erica, Jackie, and Jessica were completely clueless.

“Want to go pick some stuff up for the baby today,” Patrick asked when he passed me in the upstairs hallway after I had finished with my shower and got dressed.

I acted like I didn’t hear him before I opened the door to Erica’s room. Before I knew what was going on, Patrick had me pressed against the wall with his lips attached to mine. I wanted so bad to kiss him back but we all knew where that lead to and after our fight yesterday, I didn’t trust him anymore.

“Patrick, just stop,” I said pushing him away from me.

Patrick let me go without a fight and I walked into the room gently closing the door behind me, “I’m sorry,” he whispered on the other side of the door.

“You should have thought about that before you did what you did,” I replied.

“Just please, talk to me.”


“Kaicee, please,” he pleaded and I sighed in defeat opening the door.

“You have five minutes.”

“I’m really and truly sorry, what I did was wrong. You didn’t deserve to be lied to.”

“Time’s up,” I said slamming the door in his face.

“Bitch,” he yelled on the other side of the door.

“DICKHEAD,” I shouted back before I collapsed on my bed in tears while clutching my stomach.

I was tired of crying over a guy that I didn’t even love and that even didn’t love me. I felt sorry for our baby who wasn’t even born yet and had two parents that don’t know what they want.

I closed my eyes and fell back asleep, a few hours later I woke up to my cell phone going off. I looked at the clock and it read seven pm which meant Pat was probably out at some bar fucking a random chick and drinking. Quite frankly, I didn’t care. He was a grown man and could do what he wanted.

I crawled out of bed and threw my hair in a ponytail before I washed my face and slipped into my pajamas.

I walked downstairs to get something to eat when I saw Donna, Erica, and Patrick sitting at the dining room table from the mirror by the steps.

“Patrick, how could you do that to her…and to us? She’s the mother of your baby and you better grow up and be a man before she walks out of our lives forever and we never get to see our grandchild and you never get to see your son or daughter,” I heard Donna say to Patrick who stared at the table the entire time.

“I don’t love her, mom.”

“Oh right, you loved having sex with her,” Erica sarcastically replied.

“Stay out of this, Erica.”

“I’m not staying out of anything, Patrick. She’s my best friend and you ripped her heart right out of her chest and walked all over it.”

“Enough you two…Patrick, go upstairs and apologize to her right now. I know she doesn’t want anything to do with you but please make things right for that baby’s sake.”

Patrick sighed in defeat and I walked down the steps the rest of the way and down the hall towards the dining room.

“Patrick, can we talk,” I asked and he looked up from tracing the ring around his glass and nodded his head.

I opened up the patio doors and sat down on the glider that over looked the entire backyard and swimming pool. Pat sat down next to me and grabbed my hand, I didn’t bother to pull away because I didn’t want us to fight anymore.

“Before you yell at me, please just hear me out. I’m so sorry from the bottom of my heart, Kaicee, I never meant to hurt you. I know we’re not together and we more than likely never will be but for our child’s sake I want to work everything out with you. We both created the life growing inside you and I wanted to continue living my life without giving any thoughts to how yours would change. I pray every night to God so that I can be a better person, I have a lot of growing up to do and I know that you do also and the baby could help us with that. Please don’t hate me, Kaicee.”

“I don’t hate you, Patrick,” I replied looking him in the eye, “I really don’t, I hate what you’ve become.”

“I hate what I’ve become too,” he whispered and I felt sorry for him so I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a hug.

“Until you go back to being who you were, I can’t trust you. We can be civilized with each other for the baby’s sake but I know as soon as I put all of my trust back into you, you are going to rip my heart out of my chest once again.”

Pat didn’t say anything and we sat there in silence, “Want to go swimming?”

“I just told you off and you want to go swimming,” I laughed and he cracked a smile.

“We can be friends, right?”

“I guess!”

“Let’s go then,” he said as he pulled his t-shirt and shorts off and ran down the steps of the deck before he dove in the pool.

“Come on, Kaicee,” he yelled and I rolled my eyes before I walked into the house and got something to eat before I went back to bed.

A few hours later, I was woken up by Patrick who informed me that we had a flight to Chicago the next day.

“Come on Kaicee, wake up,” Patrick whispered gently shaking me.

“I’m sleeping,” I mumbled curling into the pillows.

“You can sleep on the plane.”

“What,” I asked sleepily as I looked at my phone and it read 6:00am.

“My mom packed your suitcase last night and everything that you would need, come on get dressed, we’re going to Chicago.”

“Ha ha, good one Patrick,” I said rolling my eyes and laying back down.

“I’m being serious, Kaicee. The season is next month and I’m going back now so I have time to settle in. I want you there with me.”

“Patrick, we just got back on the right track with everything that happened the day before yesterday and I don’t want to ruin that by going to Chicago. Let me stay here for a little while and then when the time is right, I’ll come out.”

“NO,” Patrick said loudly, “You’re carrying my baby, I already have an OBGYN for you thanks to Brent’s wife now please don’t make me fight with you again.”

“FINE,” I growled and Pat smirked in victory as I got dressed.

We arrived at the airport and my stomach growled and everyone looked at me in the security line. Pat patted my stomach and laughed, “Someone’s hungry.”

“I really want Starbucks and either a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel from McDonald’s or a cinnamon roll for Cinnabon.”

“How about all three?”

“MMM YES! Patrick, you’re amazing.”

He laughed as our luggage was sent through the scanner and we walked through the metal detector.

“Are you excited about going to Chicago,” Pat asked.

“Eh, not really. I’m worried about what everyone is going to think of me since I’m pregnant and we’re not together.”

“Don’t worry about what people say, I’m going to stick by you no matter what.”

“You’ve said that before and look what happened.”

“Kaicee, I told you I was sorry.”

“I know you did but Patrick you have to see it from my point of view. I’m the one carrying the baby and when I’m hurt, they’re hurting too.”

“Let’s not talk about this, it will make the plane ride miserable.”

“I’m fucking hungry, are you buying me breakfast or what?”

“Will that shut you up?”

“It might,” I smiled.

“Well then, let’s go.”

I followed Patrick over to the McDonald’s where he ordered our food and he paid for it even though I told him not to. After I scarfed down my bagel sandwich and my hashbrown, Patrick bought me my double chocolate chip frappucino from Starbuck’s and my cinnamon roll.”

“You are going to get sick on the plane,” he said with a disgusted look as I crammed the cinnamon roll in my mouth.

“I’ll be okay, I’m going to sleep the whole time anyways.”

“Do you have your iPod?”

“We both have iPhones, dummy.”

“You’re a smart ass, do you have your headphone divider?”


“Can I listen to your iPhone with you?”

“Yeah that’s fine. Hey, who’s picking us up at the airport?”

“Jon is, I’m sure you heard about him before.”


“That’d be him!”

“Does he know about our uh…situation?”

“No, I didn’t know if you wanted anyone to know or not so I didn’t say anything.”

“Who are we going to tell people that I am?”

“Not everyone has to know who you are, I will tell Jon since he’s one my best friends but other than that we can say that you’re one of my sister’s friend’s who came to stay in Chicago with me since your family kicked you out. Well that’s true, but do you want them to know the baby’s mine?”

“What do you think?”

“We’ll tell Jon now and then when you have the baby, we’ll tell everyone else.”

“Okay,” I said as our flight was called. Pat was right, I spent half of the flight in the bathroom puking because of not only my morning sickness but the plane ride and the amount of food that I ate.

We landed in Chicago and I recognized Jon from the pictures on Erica’s phone, which was another story for another day that Patrick didn’t know about. Erica liked Jon but dating a teammate of Patrick’s was off limits.

“Hey Kaner,” Jon said when we walked over to him, “What’s up, man?”

“Not much just ready to play. How was your summer?”

“I trained the whole time and worked on a few things that I needed improvement on.”

“That’s great,” Patrick replied and I cleared my throat.

“I’m so sorry, I’m Jon,” he said sticking out his hand, “Kaner, I thought you were with Jenn.”

“I was with her,” Patrick replied, “She turned out to be a money grabbing whore.”

“You weren’t exactly perfect either,” I spat and Jon laughed.

“I’m Kaicee by the way.”

“Are you Pat’s new girlfriend?”


“Well, if you’re not his girlfriend then who are you?”

“The mother of my baby,” Patrick responded and Jon laughed.

“That’s a good one, Kaner.”

“I’m being dead serious, she’s Erica’s best friend and we had a friends with benefits relationship and well we weren’t exactly careful and she’s two months pregnant as of today.”

“Holy shit,” Jon replied, “Well Kaicee, it’s good to know the kids are going to have great looks. I mean Kaner’s a stud and you’re very pretty.”

“Thanks Jon,” I blushed and Patrick smiled.

“Jon, please do Kaicee and I a favor and don’t say a word to any of the guys. The last thing I need is for Bur and Sharpie to find out. They’ll have it all over Chicago by the home opener.”

“You got it dude, you’re secret is safe with me.”

Pat rubbed my back reassuringly and we walked out of the airport, I just hoped our secret stayed a secret and that the whole entire city of Chicago didn’t find out before the start of the season.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Chapter 3-Pretty Little Liar

Unfuckingbelievable! Patrick never picked me up for my doctor’s appointment. I keep texting and calling him, yet he’s not answering the phone.

“WHAT THE FUCK,” I screamed throwing my phone at the wall.

“Kaicee, sweetie, what’s wrong,” Donna asked coming into the room.

“I have a doctor’s appointment in fifteen minutes and Pat was supposed to pick me up after he got back from wherever he went.”

“Did you call him?”

“I called and sent him a text message, he’s not answering the phone.”

“I bet his battery died, he’s probably stuck in traffic since the beltway is backed up, I’ll drive you over there so you’re not late.”

“Thank you so much,” I said slipping on my flip flops as I followed Donna out of the house.

We got to the doctor’s office with five minutes left to spare, “Do you want me to come in with you,” Donna asked.

“You don’t have to, I’m fine by myself, thank you for offering though,” I replied giving her a smile as I shut the door to the car.

I signed in and sat down before I picked up a parenting magazine with a baby girl on the front that looked like Patrick. I tried not to let the tears fall as I thought about what he said to me last month when I first told him I was pregnant.

I’m going to be there for you every step of the way, I don’t want you going through this alone. I promise you that I’ll be there.

“So much for keeping a promise,” I mumbled to myself when the nurse called my name.

“Kaicee Carter.”

I closed the magazine and followed her to the back, “Room 2 on the right.”

I walked in and she shut the door. I sat down on the table and checked my phone, still nothing from Patrick. I sighed as I dialed his number but got the voicemail again, “Pat, it’s me again, please answer your phone. Just text me to let me know that you’re okay, your mom drove me to Dr. Stevens’ office.”

I laid back on the bed with my arm over my eyes to block out the light when I heard the door open. I sat up thinking it was the doctor when I saw Patrick gently close the door behind him.

“Where the hell have you been,” I asked with venom dripping from my voice.

“I was at James’ house.”

“I’m pretty sure you were able to answer the phone if you were there.”

“We were busy playing Mario Kart and my phone was on silent, I’m sorry I missed your calls. I would have answered, you know that.”

“Since when does Mario Kart give you a hickey,” I asked sarcastically pointing to the black and blue mark on his neck.

“James hit me with the controller.”

“How old are you,” I asked, “You’re a fucking liar, Patrick. I can’t believe you are lying to me in this doctor’s office while we are waiting to see if OUR baby is okay.”

“What do you care about what I do with my personal life anyways? We fuck, no feelings involved, remember?”

“I can’t believe you would rather be fucking some useless slut instead of being here for OUR baby. I don’t care about you Patrick but my God, this baby is a part of you and if you don’t get your act together soon, I will leave you without looking back, I mean it.”

Pat stood there staring at me not knowing what to say, “What’s the matter with you,” I asked, “Feel guilty for being a useless manwhore who fucked a random slut while his baby’s mother was lying in a doctor’s office alone.”

“She wasn’t a random slut,” he said barely in a whisper.

“Excuse me?”

“I’ve been dating her for six months.”

“YOU NO GOOD BASTARD,” I said raising my voice, “How could you do that to me?”

“Do what to you, you mean nothing to me. You’re just some chick I fuck that I can rely on, we got ourselves into a stupid situation that we are left to deal with for the rest of our lives and have no choice but to deal with it.”

His words cut me like a knife, what happened to the Patrick that wanted this baby just as much as I did even though we were both scared? I sat up and slapped him across the face as hard as I could. His head snapped to the side and he looked at me with fire in his eyes.

“Get out,” I said with my voice cracking, “I want you out of this room, out of my life, and out of my baby’s life.”

“That’s my baby too.”

“Not anymore it isn’t, now get the fuck out before I kick your ass.”

“Kaicee,” the doctor said coming in saving Patrick. I was grateful she did or else I would have smashed his head against the wall.

“This is Patrick,” I said putting on a fake smile, “He’s the baby’s father.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, now Kaicee lie back on the bed and I will get the machine ready.”

I lifted my shirt revealing my stomach and Patrick brought his hand up to caress my small bump. I slapped his hand away as Dr. Stevens had her back turned to us. Patrick glared at me and I turned my head towards the screen.

“It’s going to be very cold, I’m sure you remember from the last time you were here,” she said turning around. She ran the ball over my stomach and showed us the small figure on the screen, “There’s your baby.”

I smiled to myself not caring if Patrick was in the room or not, suddenly I heard a rhythmic beating and I felt a tear fall down my cheek.

“That’s your baby’s heartbeat,” Dr. Stevens said turning around and Patrick grabbed my hand. I pulled away and shot him a glare before Dr. Stevens printed out the pictures and wiped the gel off of my stomach, “Do you two have any questions for me?”

“No, I’m good,” I replied.

“Me too,” Patrick replied smiling and I wanted to smack the smile right off of his face.

“Great then we’ll set up an appointment for next month and if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to call me.”

“I’ll meet you in the car,” Patrick said coldly before he walked out of the room.

Once he was out of the room, I broke down. Even though I felt no romantic connection to him, I felt a pain in my stomach. It was like our baby knew that their daddy hurt their mommy.

I wiped the tears away from my eyes and walked out of the room and to the reception desk. I scheduled my appointment and walked outside. I saw Patrick leaning against his Tahoe and I started walking the other way when he started calling my name.

“KAICEE,” he shouted as I reached the bus stop outside of the doctor’s office.

“I don’t have anything to say to you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it, I can’t fucking believe you lied to me. I trusted you.”

“I never meant to get a girlfriend, it just happened.”

“So much for not doing relationships, huh? You’re who they say you are Patrick Kane, a lying, manipulative, manwhore who doesn’t care about anyone but himself. I hate you, you’re lucky I want my baby to have a father or I would be on the first flight back to New York City.”

“Get in the car,” he said, “Please, I know you hate me right now but the last thing I want is you getting hurt and putting the baby’s life in jeopardy.”

I didn’t bother to argue, he did have a point. I wanted to keep my baby safe just as much as he did so I got into his car.

The whole ride home, it was silent. Patrick tried to make conversation but I just turned my headphones up louder to drown him out.

We pulled into a gas station and he pulled up next to a gas pump. He got out of the car and headed in to pay. I noticed his phone had fell out of his pocket. It started to ring and I looked at the screen.

I smirked as I saw, ‘Jenn<3,’ blink.

“Hello,” I said pressing the green call button.

“Hey is Patrick there,” she asked, “Wait a second, who is this?”

“He’s baby’s mother, who is this?”

“I’m his fucking his girlfriend.”

“Oh, so you’re the infamous girlfriend. I’m Kaicee by the way, his two year fuck buddy. You didn’t know that though did you?”

“Put him the fuck on the phone,” she snapped.

“No can do, he’s in the store paying for a tank of gas right now.”

“Put him on the phone right now, you whore!”

“I’m sorry the only whore here is Patrick, I really am pregnant though, have fun knowing that you’re dating a lying, no good scumbag who got a girl pregnant.”

I smiled as I ended the call and threw the phone back onto the floor.

Patrick got back in the car and picked his phone up, stuffing it back into his pocket.

“You might want to call Jenn back by the way, she’s really upset that you didn’t tell her you knocked someone up,” I smirked and his eyes went wide in horror.

“What the fuck is your problem? Why would you answer my phone?”

“It fell out of your pocket, rang, and I picked it up trying to be nice. I thought I’d share the wonderful news about our baby.”

“You’re a real bitch, I hate you.”

“Trust me Kane, the feeling’s mutual.”

We got back home and I got out of the car slamming the door. I walked into the house and was greeted by Donna who was asking us how the doctor’s appointment went.

“How’d it go honey?”

“Fine,” I said smiling and showing her the pictures, “We heard the heart beat today.”

“Do they know when your due date is?”

“Somewhere around March 17.”

“St. Patrick’s Day baby,” Pat Sr. said, “Little Leprechaun perhaps.”

I just laughed and Patrick walked into the house and into the kitchen. I heard a beer can opening and the patio door slam.

“ASSHOLE,” I yelled and Donna looked at me concerned.

“What the hell is going on here?”

“Why don’t you ask your no good, lying son who has had a girlfriend for six months and has been lying to us all?”

“HE HAS WHAT,” Pat Sr. shouted.

“A girlfriend, her name is Jenn, I found out today when he came to the appointment late because he was having sex with her. He told me that I meant nothing to him, that’s why he didn’t have to tell me that he was seeing anyone.”

“He said that to you,” Donna asked.

“Clear as crystal.”

“Patrick, let’s go we have some ass to chew out.”

“Kaicee, you’re coming with us,” Pat Sr. said. “We want to know everything he said to you.”

We walked outside and saw Pat on the phone arguing with some, “Yes she’s pregnant…she’s not a whore…yes it’s my baby…I don’t love her…breaking up is the smartest thing you’ve said all day…yeah yeah fuck you too, bitch.”

“PATRICK TIMOTHY KANE,” Donna shouted and Pat almost dropped his phone.

He quickly stuffed his phone back into his pocket and looked at the three of us standing there with wide eyes.

“H-hi mom,” he stuttered.

“Don’t ‘hi mom’ me, you little bastard.”

“What did I do,” he asked.

“You know damn well what you did,” Pat Sr. said snapping at his son.

“How dare you tell Kaicee that she didn’t mean anything to you. She’s the mother of your baby and my God, Patrick, you will respect her, Patrick. I raised you better than that,” Donna said.

“Why did I have to be that father of this kid, why couldn’t the baby be someone else’s mistake?”

“Well, now you should have thought about that before you thought with your penis two years ago,” Pat Sr. said, “Kaicee’s the best thing that has ever happened to you and I don’t care if you two love each other or not but my grandchild will have both of their parents.”

Patrick just stood there stunned, quite frankly, I was too. I never expected his parents to react the way they did. I didn’t know what to think, I walked back into the house and flopped down on the bed and went to sleep. When I woke up, I realized that it was nighttime now. I looked at the clock and saw that it was a little bit past one in the morning. I saw that Erica was asleep and I silently walked over to the dresser and pulled out a tank top and a pair of shorts to wear.

Quietly closing the door behind me, I slipped into the bathroom. I turned the hot water of the shower on and shed my clothes before I got it letting the hot water spray all over me. I was almost done washing my hair when I felt a draft in the shower. I looked up and saw Patrick standing there outside the curtain.

“Get the fuck out of here,” I said wiping my eyes.

“No,” he said sternly grabbing my hand.

“I swear to God, Patrick,” I began, “I just want to take a shower and go to bed. Please leave me alone.”

Sighing in defeat, he walked out of the bathroom. When he closed the door and I was sure he was down the hall, I broke down.

I wasn’t in love with Patrick, that was one thing I was sure of, but I did love our baby. I don’t know why Patrick did what he did. I wasn’t ready to forgive him, he hurt me in more ways than one. I knew we’d never be together but did he have to throw that up in my face.

I finished my shower when the water ran cold and I got dressed. I walked by Patrick’s room and the first night we started this whole thing came into my mind. I felt another tear fall and I quickly wiped it away. I was about to open the door to head back into the room I shared with Erica when Pat grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me into his room.

“Can we talk?”

“I’m done talking to you, you mean nothing to me.”

“I didn’t mean that,” Patrick said looking down at his feet.

“You said it though, didn’t you?”

“I’m so sorry, I was wrong. I should have told you about Jenn but I was afraid of hurting you. Let’s face it, even though it’s just sex to us, we’re attached. I let go of you but I didn’t know if you’d let go of me so I lied to her and I lied to you.”

“It’s not about her or me, it’s about our baby. Patrick, I spent half of my childhood without my dad and I don’t want my baby doing the same thing. I want you in their life but if this is how you are going to react then I don’t want you in neither mine nor theirs.”

Patrick just stood there not saying a word, I turned to leave and I felt his arms around me.

“I’m so sorry, I really mean it,” he said kissing my forehead, “Jenn’s not in my life anymore and she never will be again. I want my son or daughter to know their father and starting today I’m going to be here for you. I want to prove to you that I can be a father, you just need to give me another chance. You mean something to me, you’re the mother of my unborn baby. I know that I really hurt you today and from the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry.”

I finally wrapped my arms around him and gave him a hug, “Pat, I’m really tired, can I please go to bed?”

“Goodnight,” he whispered letting me go and I walked out of the room.

I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillows, I prayed to God that things would work out for the better for my baby’s sake but knowing my luck they wouldn’t, thanks to the man who lied to me the most, Patrick Kane. I knew we’d never be together but I was worried my son or daughter would be disappointed by a father who would lie to them every day of their lives.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Chapter 2-Sex, Lies, and Hockey

“Patrick, we need to talk.”

“You know since no one’s home, we have the whole house to ourselves,” he whispered huskily in my ear and I immediately pulled away. What I had to tell him was important and would change our lives forever.

“I really wish you wouldn’t do that,” I said pulling away.

“We haven’t had sex in two weeks, what’s wrong with this picture? Usually we’re going at it like rabbits.”

“I haven’t been feeling that well.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ve been sick in the morning and really tired. I’ve been eating like a pig and I missed my period.”

“Good, that means more sex,” he smirked.

“Patrick, are you seriously that stupid as to what I’m trying to tell you?”

My phone rang on the hottest night of the year in Buffalo. I was home all day entertaining my family from New York City that came to visit my mom, step-dad, and me. I didn’t get a chance to hang out with Erica like I normally did but it wasn’t Erica that was calling me, it was Patrick. I knew what he wanted and I wanted it too.

After the day that I had, I needed something to help me forget everything.

“Hey,” I said flipping my cell phone open.

“Your house or mine?”

“My family is here from New York City, meet me down the street in ten minutes.”

“I’m already parked,” he said and I hung up the phone. Slipping into my flip flops and throwing my hair into a ponytail, I snuck out of the house.

This is what our friends with benefits relationship had come to over the last two years, me sneaking out of my house to have sex with him or him sneaking in through my bedroom window downstairs to have sex with me.

“Hey,” I said as I climbed into the car and put my seatbelt on. Pat leaned over and grabbed my ponytail forcefully as he pulled me into a kiss.

“Just wait until we get to my house,” he replied trailing his lips down my jaw.

Pat parked his car in the driveway and we quietly walked up to the front door.

“Upstairs,” I asked.

“Nope, they’ll hear us. We’ll go downstairs like we always do. No one can hear us with the cement walls.”

“Pat,” Jackie asked from the top of the steps.

“Shit,” I mumbled and Pat pointed to the basement door.

“What’s Kaicee doing here?”

“Shhhh,” he said shushing his sister, “She needed somewhere to stay while her family is in town from New York City so I told her she can sleep downstairs.”

“Oh, does Erica know she’s here?”

“Nope and please don’t tell her either.”

“Why can’t I tell her if she’s just staying here for the night,” Jackie asked.


“Oh my God, you’re sleeping with her.”

“Go to sleep, Jackie.”

“Not until you tell me what’s going on.”

“Jesus Christ, Jackie, mind your own fucking business and go to bed. Whatever you do, DO NOT mention a word of this to Erica or you’re not getting that purse you told me you wanted for your birthday,” Pat bribed his sister.

“Whatever,” she said dropping the subject and went back to bed.

“Do you think she’ll tell,” I asked as Pat shut and locked it behind him.

“Not a chance, she wants that purse too bad,” he replied as our lips connected.

“Pat,” I moaned as he nibbled on my neck while pulling my hair out of the ponytail.

“I like your hair better when it’s down and going everywhere while I fuck you.”

I moaned again as his hand found its way to the zipper on my jeans and he slid it down before he pushed my pants down my legs never breaking the kiss.

I pushed him away and quickly pushed him against the opposite wall sliding my hands down into his sweatpants, stroking him.

“FUCK! Don’t tease me, Kaicee,” he moaned.

Before I knew what was happening, my back was on the carpet and my shirt was on the other side of the room along with my jeans.

“You picked the perfect night not to wear a bra,” he said moving his head down to suck at my breasts.

“FUCK PATRICK,” I moaned pushing my chest into his face.

“Patience, Kaicee,” he smirked as he knelt between my legs and pulled out a condom from his wallet and slipped it on before he entered me roughly.

I cried out in ecstasy as he pumped in and out, “Faster Patrick, OH FUCK,” I moaned and he picked up his pace.

“Do you like that,” he asked as I screamed his name again.

“FUCK,” I moaned as we both climaxed at the same time.

“That was amazing as always,” he said laying on top of me and we made out until we both needed air.

“We can’t keep doing this,” I said from out of nowhere, “I can’t keep lying to Erica.”

“Kaicee,” he mumbled burying his face into my neck, “I know what you mean but we both have needs and it just so happens we can satisfy each other.”

“Pat, do you like lying to your sister?”

“Do you like lying to your best friend?”

He had me right where he wanted me, speechless and tongue tied not knowing what to say since it was the same situation.

“That’s what I thought,” he said as his lips crashed down on mine again and before I knew it we were going at it for round two.

“I’m stupid,” he asked, “You’re sick, it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.”

“I’M PREGNANT, YOU JACKASS,” I screamed and he looked at me with wide eyes.

“You’re what?”

“I’m pregnant,” I repeated reaching into my jeans pocket, pulling out the pregnancy test that read ‘positive.’

“What? How?”

“I figured it out about a month ago when we had sex in the basement when my family was in town, we weren’t exactly gentle and the condom may have broke.”

“Are you going to the doctor to get a test?”

“Yeah I have an appointment at two o’clock, want to go?”

“Are you sure I’m the father?”

“Patrick, you’re the only guy that I’ve been within a year.”

“You do realize that if I am seen at that clinic, it will be in the papers and my family will grill me as well as my agent.”

“You’re unbelievable,” I said, “You’re more worried about your reputation than you are me or our unborn baby.”

“We both agreed that this was going to be just strictly friends with benefits. Never once did we sit and discuss what would happen if you got pregnant. Wait a minute, weren’t you on the pill?”

“The pill isn’t always 100% effective.”

“God, what the hell are we going to do?”

“My parents are strict Catholics and they don’t believe in abortion or the pill so they will want me to keep the baby. What are we going to tell my parents?”

“The truth,” Pat said, “Look, I know neither one of us want a relationship. We can raise this baby together without being together.”

“My parents are going to kick me out of the house.”

“You’ll live with me and my family in the summer and live with me in Chicago during the season. You know what, I don’t fucking care what the press thinks. They already hate me because of the whole taxi incident but this is my kid too and I deserve to be there.”

“You handled this a lot better than I thought you would,” I admitted, “I expected you to freak out.”

“Why would I freak out, we’re both responsible for this.”

“You have a career, I’m your sister’s best friend that you have a sexual relationship with, and we only see each other in the summer, when I visit Chicago with Erica, and when you’re here for road trips.”

“Miss Carter,” the doctor said as he came into the room, “Congratulations you are four weeks pregnant.”

“Thank you,” I replied forcing a smile and Patrick sat there frozen in his place on the chair.

“Please see the receptionist on the way out to schedule an appointment for one month from now, take one of these prenatal vitamins every day, and call me if you have any questions,” he said handing me a prescription.

I left the office scheduling an appointment and left the office without a word to Patrick as we drove to my house.

“I’ll call y-,” he started to say when I slammed the door and walked into my house.

Thank God my mom and Ron had to go to Niagara Falls to work out a deal with a Canadian firm on a piece of land that was on both the US and Canada border that called for an American realtor and a Canadian realtor to close the deal.

I flopped down on my bed with my hands on my stomach crying. I never imagined my decision to start sleeping with Patrick a year and a half ago would end with this consequence. I always imagined myself having kids one day but right now, no.

I would have to quit school after I give birth, since it’s now August and the fall semester didn’t start yet, I wouldn’t be able to start next year since I knew my parents wouldn’t watch the baby and Pat’s parents more than likely wouldn’t watch the baby.

“Kaicee, we’re home,” Ron yelled and I heard the door shut.

I pulled the blanket up over me and turned my back to the door pretending that I was sleeping.

“Kaicee,” my mom said walking into the room, “Are you awake?”

I didn’t answer and she shut the door behind her and the tears slid out of my eyes. They were going to be so disappointed when I told them about the baby.

My phone went off and I pulled it out of my pocket, flipping it open I sighed when I saw a text message from Patrick.

Are you okay?

Sighing, I replied. No

I think we need to tell our parents, I’ll come over and we could tell yours

Do you want to die?

I told my parents already, they aren’t going to say anything to Erica

I can’t believe you told them

I needed to get it off of my chest but look we really need to talk about this

I’m scared

Me too!

If I would have known this would happen, I never would have suggested we sleep together

I promise you that I am going to do my part to be a father, I’m willing to sacrifice everything for him or her.

You do realize that this changes everything now, right?

What do you mean?

We share a bond now that can never be broken, neither one of us love each other and we have a child because we were…no we are 2 horny adults that love sex

At least I know it was you that I got pregnant and not a whore from a bar

You do realize my parents are going to kick me out or try to make you marry me.

Just because we’re having a baby doesn’t mean we’re getting married. I hate when people make a man marry a woman because he got her pregnant. My parents also said that you could live here if they kicked you out but like I told you, you will live in Chicago with me during the season.

What about school? I can’t just quit.

We’ll figure something out, just calm down. We’re going to be okay!

I shut my phone and I prayed to God that he was right. Silently climbing out of bed, I walked over to my door and locked it. I grabbed my suitcase from underneath my bed and threw all of my clothes into it before I grabbed my laptop and all of my pictures. My entire room was packed, I knew my parents were going to kick me out the minute I read the test as positive so I started packing.

The doorbell rang and I felt my stomach in my throat, “Kaicee, honey, Erica’s brother is here to see you,” my mom called out from downstairs.

“I’m coming,” I replied zipping the suitcase and opening the door heading towards what could be my death sentence.

“Hey Kaicee,” Patrick said smiling and I tried to smile back but I couldn’t.

“Patrick says you two have something to tell us,” Ron said sitting down on the chair in the living room.

Patrick and I looked at each other before we sat down on the couch. My mom sat down on the arm of the chair that Ron was sitting on, both of them had their eyes on us.

“We got ourselves into a sticky situation,” Patrick began.

“What do you mean by sticky situation,” my mom asked.

“When I first met Patrick two summers ago, neither one of us were looking for a relationship and since we both sleep with people just to have sex,” I admitted, “We decided that we would start having sex with each other, a friends with benefits sort of thing.”

“You what,” Ron asked eyes wide before I finished the story.

“Last month, Pat came home from one of his teammates’ wedding and I snuck out of the house when grandma and grandpa were here with Aunt Toni and I went to his house where we had sex. The condom broke and well, there’s no easy way to say this,” I said looking at Pat who rubbed my hand encouragingly.

“She’s four weeks pregnant,” Pat said. I heard my mom gasp and I couldn’t bear to look up Ron.

“Kaicee Jade Carter,” my mom scolded, “I raised you to be a young lady not a slut. I can’t believe you got yourself into this situation.”

“Are you going to marry her,” Ron asked Patrick.

“Kaicee and I talked about this before we planned on telling you guys and no we are not getting married. We don’t even love each other and are nothing more than friends.”

“You don’t love her but you got her pregnant, typical dog of a man,” my mom said.

“Mom, Patrick isn’t the only one guilty here so don’t take it out on him. We’ve already discussed this like he said and he’s willing to own up to his responsibilities and be a dad.”

My mom and Ron were silent for a few minutes and I didn’t know what to expect.

“We want you out of our house,” my mom finally spoke, “You’re not the daughter I raised. Your father would be so disappointed in you right now if he were here. I can’t believe you let yourself get into this situation.”

“I thought you weren’t like the other girls, Kaicee,” Ron began, “I thought you were a good girl and not a whore. You disgust me and my God you will rot in hell for being the little tramp you are.”

“That wasn’t necessary,” Pat said defending me, “She’s not a tramp or a whore.”

“That’s funny coming from the guy who made her that way,” Ron chuckled and I could have slapped him.

“Patrick go wait in the car,” I said, “I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Where are you going to stay, Kaicee,” my mom asked, “A whorehouse isn’t the proper place to raise a child.”


“Don’t talk to your mother that way,” Ron said.

“Fuck you, you can go to hell,” I said slamming my door in his face. Grabbing my stuff, I reopened the door and stormed out of the house to Patrick’s Tahoe where he was waiting.

“Are you okay,” he asked.

“Do I fucking look okay to you?”

“Everything will work out, I promise,” Patrick said pulling me to him and I wrapped my arms around him.

“They called me a whore,” I sobbed into his chest.

“You’re not a whore.”

“I am too, I’m a fucking slut who let you get her pregnant.”

Patrick sighed and let me go as he started the car and we headed towards his house.

“Kaicee,” Donna said running to the car, “Everything is going to be okay sweetie.”

“I’m a whore,” I sobbed and she wrapped her arms tighter around me.

“No you’re not, we all make mistakes but I’m glad it’s you my son got pregnant and not some random puck slut,” she replied rubbing my back.

“I guess we should tell Erica now,” Patrick said and I nodded my head as we walked into the house.

“Erica, can you come downstairs for a minute,” Pat asked his daughter, “Your brother needs to talk to you.”

“We’ll be in the kitchen,” Donna said, “We’ll leave you two to tell her.”

“Hey Kaicee, what are you doing here,” she asked hugging me.

“You may want to sit down, we need to talk,” I replied and she looked at Patrick and I with a scared look before she sat down on the couch across from us.

“Kaicee’s pregnant,” Patrick said and Erica’s eyes went wide.

“Kaicee, didn’t I tell you that sleeping around was going to lead to this,” Erica began, “Who’s the father?”

“I am,” Patrick mumbled.

“WHAT,” she screamed, “HOW? WHEN? WHY?”

“Two summers ago we started a friends with benefits relationship,” I said, “Every time I’d sleep over, we’d have sex then we started sneaking into each other’s houses and well last month he snuck me in here and the condom broke and I’m pregnant.”

“WHAT THE FUCK,” she screamed, “I can’t fucking believe this.”

“I’m sorry,” Patrick said.

“You should be sorry, Patrick, you fucked my best friend.”

“I’m sorry too, I never meant for it to get this far.”

“Kaicee, I can’t believe you’d fucking betray me like this. What are you going to do now? You’re parents are going to fucking kick you out of the house.”

“They already did,” Patrick stated, “She’s going to live here until the season starts then she is coming to Chicago to live with me.”

“Are you two dating,” she asked calmly.

“No, we don’t even think of each other like that,” I replied.

“You don’t think of each other like that yet you two can fuck each other with no feelings involved. You do know this baby is going to change everything.”

“We know,” Patrick said, “Which is why we agreed that even though Kaicee’s pregnant we are still going to be friends but it’ll be two friends having a baby with the other.”

“Are you mad,” I asked, “Wait, don’t answer that, it was a stupid question.”

“I’m pissed off beyond belief. I just can’t believe you two would do this,” Erica cried, “I thought I could trust the two of you. I am the aunt of this child though so I’m going to have to learn to live with it and spoil this kid rotten.”

“We’re sorry, we really are,” Patrick said.

“I know but it’s going to be forever before I forgive the two of you. Kaicee, you can stay in my room.”

That night when everyone went to sleep, I found myself sneaking off into Patrick’s room. Instead of having sex like we normally did, we stayed up and discussed names for the baby. It was down to either Gia or Kendall for a girl and either Patrick Timothy the third or Evan for a boy.

I really liked Kendall for a girl and Evan for a boy. That night when I finally fell asleep, I fell asleep in Patrick’s room. He had his head on my stomach listening for our baby. I ran my fingers through his hair and I still didn’t see a future with him. He was just the father of my baby, nothing more, and nothing less.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Chapter 1-Empire State of Mind

Moving to Buffalo from New York City was a huge step in mine and my mom’s new life. She had just married her new husband and my step-dad, Ron. My biological father died in the September 11 terrorist attacks when the World Trade Center he was in collapsed, he was a firefighter for the FDNY.

I remember that day like it was yesterday, my dad left for work and my mom was making me breakfast as I got ready for school in our two bedroom apartment in Brooklyn.

I was on my way out the door to catch my school bus when my mom and I saw the plane fly over our heads and towards the city. Our neighbor’s watched in horror as the plane crashed into the South tower. My dad never did come home that day, he was trapped under the rubble and found dead a week after the attack.

I sighed as we stepped out of the car in front of my new house in Buffalo. My mom met Ron three years after my dad died, she swore she’d never love again but when she started her new job at a small real-estate agency that all changed.

Ron was her boss and they got to know each other when they were working to close a real-estate deal with one of the New York Rangers.

After dinner and a few dates, they decided we should all move in together. I never had a problem with Ron, he treated me like I was his own daughter.

When I moved to Buffalo, I was a junior in high school. I joined the cheerleading squad since I cheered back home in New York City. That’s where I met my best friend. Erica was a cheerleader for one year before she quit. I quit when she did because none of the girls liked us.

They were jealous of Erica because her brother was a professional hockey player, Patrick played for the Chicago Blackhawks and was in his rookie year with the team. Erica would frequently go to Chicago with her parents and her two sisters to visit him but I would stay behind since I never met him.

I didn’t meet Patrick until the summer of 2008 when he came home from Chicago. It was the summer after his rookie season and he was coming home for three months. I didn’t know what to expect, in fact I was kind of scared at first.

He probably thought I was only friends with Erica because he was who he was. Truth be told I went to one hockey game in my life and hated it. My dad took me to the Rangers vs. Red Wings game when I was ten and the sport was too aggressive for me. I loved football but they weren’t allowed to fight like hockey players were. My thoughts about hockey players changed when I met Patrick that fateful night so long ago.

I was sitting in the Kane family’s living room watching a movie, Erica was sound asleep in her room and I didn’t want to wake her up by turning on the TV so I opted for the living room. It was the first weekend of summer and Erica promised me that this summer would change our lives forever. We were entering our senior year next year and everything was finally going to go our way.

I was halfway through the pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream when the door opened and I saw the curly head of blonde hair and the baby blue eyes. I immediately recognized him from the pictures on the walls of the house as Patrick, Erica’s brother.

“Holy shit, you scared me,” he said smiling walking into the house, “I’m Patrick by the way, you must be Kaicee.”

“How’d you know?”

“My sister did nothing but talk about you and text you the entire time she was in Chicago over Christmas.”

He and I both laughed and I turned the TV off and headed for the kitchen, “Where are you going,” he asked.

“I’m going to wash my spoon and throw my empty ice cream container away and then I am going to bed. I don’t want to disturb you.”

“You’re not disturbing me at all, I’m somewhat a night owl and never go to sleep so feel free to stay up and talk to me.”

Now it was my turn to smile as he headed up the stairs into his room and I sat at the dining room table reading ‘Eclipse’ by Stephenie Meyers.

“I don’t understand how you girls can read that shit,” Pat said sitting down next to me, “Really a glittering vampire and a werewolf on steroids, no wonder people think teenagers are illiterate.”

“You sure do know a lot about the books for hating them.”

“Hey those three brats upstairs make me read the books. If my teammates found out about that I’d be made fun of so much in the locker room.”

“You’re secret is safe with me,” I said smiling and Pat stood up walking into the kitchen rummaging through the freezer to find something to eat.

“Shit, there’s nothing in here,” he said opening the refrigerator door.

As he bent down to look, I couldn’t help but check him out. He was no taller than five foot nine maybe five foot ten at the most. For a hockey player he was really small but his body was toned and athletic. His hair was blonde and curly and he had the prettiest blue eyes that I have ever seen.        

He was totally my type but I didn’t do relationships since I had my heart broken by a guy who cheated on me so I did friends with benefits relationships much to Erica’s dismay.

“Look in one of the drawers, your mom saved pot roast.”

“Thanks,” he said looking up and smiling.

“No problem,” I replied turning my attention back to my book.

“So tell me about yourself.”

“My name is Kaicee Jones and I just moved to Buffalo this past year. I was born and raised in New York City until my mom remarried and relocated here with my step-dad.”

“Step-dad,” Pat questioned.

“My dad died on September 11, he was a firefighter with the FDNY. He died in the World Trade Center when it collapsed.”

“I’m so sorry,” Pat said rubbing my hand.

“It’s okay, he’s a hero to an entire nation and he was the best dad that a child could ever have.”

Pat smiled and took a bite of his food before he started talking about his hockey season since I asked him about it.

“You a hockey fan?”

“I wish I could say that I was but my dad took me to a game when I was little and I hated the fights and stuff like that.”

“It’s part of the game.”

“I know but there’s no point in fighting, they don’t fight in football.”

“That’s because football is for pansies.”

“I happen to like football thank you very much.”

“I never said that I didn’t like it but football players are softies and we sacrifice our teeth and our bodies on the ice every single night.”

I laughed and Pat rolled his eyes smiling . I yawned while shutting my book.

“Tired,” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m going to head to bed. It was nice meeting you.”

“It was nice meeting you too, see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah see you tomorrow,” I replied, “Goodnight Patrick.”

“Night Kaicee.”

I walked up the stairs and into Erica’s room laying down on the floor and I immediately fell asleep.

That summer changed everything for me, Patrick hung out with Erica and I a lot but one night that all changed.

I walked out of the bathroom and down the hall to go back towards Erica’s room when I heard Pat call my name.

“Kaicee,” Pat’s voice said from the door that was slightly cracked. I saw the glint of the television and opened the door slightly.

Pat was laying on his stomach facing the TV watching a tape of one of his games.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping right now,” I asked.

“I couldn’t sleep, I can’t believe summer’s almost over.”

“Me neither, it flew by. I don’t even want to think about going back to school.

“I hated school, that’s why I’m happy I’m out of that God forsaken place.”

“What’d you call me in here for?”

“Want to watch this game with me and see if it will change your mind about how you feel about hockey?”

“Pat, it’s almost four in the morning.”

“So, you’re up and so am I, we’ll keep each other company.”

I smiled and sat down on the bed with my back against the headboard.

“I don’t bite,” Pat said smiling and patting the spot next to him on the bed.

I slid down and laid down next to him watching the game.

“See Troy is fighting that douche bag because he hit Jon with intent to injure him so Troy is sticking up for Jon.”

“Jon can’t fight for himself,” I asked.

“That’s why guys like Adam and Troy are called enforcers, they pretty much fight for us.”

“…and you called football players pansies.”

“Shut up,” Pat laughed and I smiled turning my attention back to the TV.

“So,” I began breaking the silence, “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Nope, I don’t do relationships. How about you, boyfriend?”

“I don’t do relationships either, I had my heartbroken so I refuse to date.”

Pat just sat there watching the game intently not saying anything.

“So,  do you do friends with benefits or anything like that,” I asked.

“I sleep with girls back in Chicago, hit them and leave them kind of thing. I really need to find a girl though that I can do whenever I want because I don’t trust many of the girls that I sleep with.”

“I had one of those for a while, a guy that I knew from work, all we would do was sleep together, he wasn’t looking for anything serious and neither was I.”

“What happened to him?”

“He went to jail for statutory rape, he raped another girl we worked with.”

“WOW,” Pat said and I continued to watch the game slowly growing fond of the sport.

We sat there in silence and eventually the game ended and I stood up from the bed.

“Where are you going,” Pat asked.

“I’m going to bed, I’ll see you in the morning but first can I ask you something first and you can completely say no to this and I’d understand.”

“Sure, go ahead.”

I can’t believe I was about to ask my best friend’s brother if he wanted to be my fuck buddy.

“I find you extremely attractive, your eyes and your hair make you hot as hell to me and I was wondering that since neither one of us do relationships and you’re looking for that one girl to sleep with that we can work something out.”

Pat stood up from the bed smirking and I smiled, “I find you fucking sexy as hell, I’ve been dying to get in your pants since the night I met you so I definitely think we could work something out,” he said pinning me against the wall crashing his lips to mine.

That’s the night our relationship changed and how we ended up here today, two horny teenagers who hated relationships and loved sex.

That was two years ago and Pat and I still had casual sex with no strings attached whenever he came home for the summer and when he was on the road with the Blackhawks in Buffalo.

Our whole situation we’re in now started last summer when I decided to sleep on the back porch. I loved the outdoors and sleeping outside calmed me. Even though it was extremely hot, I found it comfortable.

I remember two arms wrapping around my waist and when I woke up Patrick mumbled the words he always said to me.

“Hey what do you say we go upstairs?”

That’s how Patrick Kane and I became daytime friends and nighttime lovers.