Sunday, October 31, 2010

Chapter 7-That Boy is a Monster

I stood in the living room too shocked to even move when Patrick shouted what he had just did.

“You’re the mother of my child, I should be able to fuck you when I want.”

“Patrick that was totally uncalled for,” I suddenly replied finally finding the words to say, “You’re an asshole, you know that, right?”

“I’m an asshole,” he laughed, “Toews is the one parading around like he is the father of my daughter and you’re calling me the asshole?”

“Leave Jon out of this,” I snapped. I was ready to kill him at any moment, “He’s been there for me unlike you, Mr. Jack Daniels.”

“Real mature, Kaicee, really, that’s such a great comeback. I think you’ve been hanging around Jon a little too much that your insults are getting lame just like his.”

“Fuck you, Patrick,” I spat as I grabbed my car keys and purse off of the table in the hallway.

“Where are you going?”


“Airport? For what?”

“I told you that if we had one more fight and you hurt me again, I was going to New York City and that’s where I’m going.”

“You don’t have clothes or a bag packed, you dumbass.”

“Hello, my aunt just had my cousin last year and we’re the same size, I’ll get by. By the way, the only dumbass is you because you’re letting me leave without fighting for your child, that’s pretty pathetic on your part.”

“I love my daughter, I just don’t love you.”

I didn’t even give him the pleasure of getting a response out of me before I walked out slamming the door behind me.

Before I pulled out of the garage of Patrick's apartment building, I called Erica.

“HE SAID WHAT,” Erica screamed as I told her what Pat had said.

“He basically came out and told me that he should be able to have sex with me whenever he wants because I’m the mother of his child and that he should be the only person allowed to have sex with me.”

“Fucking douchebag, you just wait until I get a hold of him.”

“It’s not worth it anymore Erica, it’s beyond threatening him and kicking his ass. I’m so fed up, I just want to come home to Buffalo.”

“Don’t stay there if you’re not happy, Kaicee. I know you are only staying because of Jon but come on, even Jon wants you to be happy.”

“I just wish Patrick would act differently. There are days he’s happy about Kendall and then there are days where he could give two shits.”

“Just leave, Kaicee. You’re my best friend and I hate it that my brother is standing there hurting you every single day and you are putting up with it because you want Kendall to have a father. Kendall deserves to be happy too and she won’t be happy living in a household where her parents fight all of the time.”

“You’re right,” I replied.

“Go back home, ignore him, get some sleep, and call me in the morning.”

“Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Remember what I said and please promise me you’ll think about coming home.”

“I will, thanks Erica, it means a lot that you and your family care.”

“Anytime, love you skank.”

“Love you too hoebag.”

I hung up the phone and pulled into the Starbucks parking lot. I know caffeine is bad to drink when you’re pregnant but the double chocolatey chip frappucinos are made with cream and not coffee and that is what I was craving right now.

My phone rang breaking me out of my trance and I saw that it was Patrick calling me. I hit ignore and set my phone back down on the table as I started reading a book about pregnancies.

When I left the coffee shop, it was almost eight o’clock. Patrick was probably out on the town with Bur and Sharpie so I headed home to take a hot bath, get something to eat, and then go to sleep.

I walked into the house and closed the door behind me. I locked it and walked down the hall to my bedroom. I was in the middle of getting undressed to take a shower when I felt Patrick come up behind me and start kissing my neck.

“Patrick, stop it,” I replied as he bit down and I let out a scream.

“Even though you hate me and we fight all of the time, I still find you extremely sexy,” he whispered in my ear and he turned me around to face him. Before I could protest, he locked his lips on mine.

“I ca-can’t,” I whispered.

“You know I still have that effect on you when I do this,” he said running his finger down my arm as I closed my eyes. I didn’t need to see that he had a smirk on his face because I heard it in his voice, “Or when I do this,” he whispered as he ran his hands over my breasts.

Before I knew it, we were back to where we started and how we got into this mess in the first place.

“God, you’re so tight,” Patrick groaned against my lips as he entered me without a condom. What’s the use in using protection when you’re knocked up anyways.

Jon was in the back of my mind as Patrick began moving in and out of me. I pushed all the hatred I had for Patrick into the back of my mind as we both let out our frustrations.

I was screaming Patrick’s name as I came and he collapsed on top of me caressing my stomach. Suddenly coming to my senses, I shot up out of the bed and began screaming at him.

“YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE,” I screamed through tears as a smirk appeared on his face.

“You weren’t just saying that five minutes ago when you had no problems with me fucking you senseless.”


“Just did,” he smirked as I drew my fist back and punched him in the face. I knew he was going to have a black eye and quite frankly, I didn’t care. He deserved it.

“You are fucking impossible and I hate you. I wish I never even met you.”

I threw on a pair of sweatpants and grabbed a hoodie before I grabbed my purse and keys and got into my car again. This time, I need to go see the one person who could take away all of the pain and the one person that could make me smile no matter how bad I was feeling.

“JONNY,” I cried into the intercom, “Please wake up, I need you.”

“Kaicee,” he said greeting me at the front door immediately pulling me into his arms, “Sweetie, what happened?”

“Patrick, he,” I began before I started sobbing. I couldn’t even get the words out as he led me to the elevator.

He held me and whispered soothing words into my ear the whole way as I cried into his chest.

“What happened, Kaicee?”

“Patrick and I were fighting earlier and I left the house. I went to the Starbucks down the street and when I went back home, I was in my room getting undressed to take a shower when he came in started kissing my neck, long story short, one thing led to another and before I could even think we were having sex. I know it was wrong, Jonny, but I thought that maybe if I had sex with him we’d stop fighting. Jonny, I’m so sorry.”

I saw his jaw clench and him curl his fist into a ball but before he could do anything that would get him into trouble, I gave him a kiss on the lips and I felt him tense for a moment before he started kissing back.

“Just kiss me, Jonny, please make me forget him.”

There we stood in the middle of Jon’s living room kissing like our lives depended on it.


Kaicee and Jon stood in the middle of his living room kissing like it would be the last kiss that they ever shared.

“Kaicee, I’m not mad at you, technically we’re not official yet but after tonight when you told me you had sex with him, it just made me realize that I want you to commit to me and only me and I’ll commit to you and only you. I like you a lot and I’m jealous of Patrick right now. I want you to want me and I want to be there for you but I need you to be honest with me, do you love him?”

“I don’t love him, Jon and I never will,” Kaicee replied and Jon smiled before giving her a kiss.

Neither one of them knew that Patrick was standing on the other side of the door about to knock and apologize to his best friend and the mother of his daughter. Neither one of them saw the hurt that was in the young hockey player’s face as he heard the woman he was slowly beginning to care for say words that cut him like a knife.

Patrick didn’t know why he cared but he did and hearing the mother of his child say that she never would love him broke his heart but he was Patrick Kane, he could have any girl in the world he wanted. One chick wasn’t going to bring down his game, he wanted this baby to tame him but clearly that wouldn’t be the case because the mother was a selfish bitch who only cared about herself.

She ate his brain with false thoughts and she was slowly eating his heart with her words.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Chapter 6-My Little Girl

“Are you ready to go,” Pat asked as I nodded my head and he stuck his hand out to help me up off of the couch.

“Oh God, I’m sick of being pregnant already.”

“Here let me help you,” he said as I went to bend down and grab my purse.

“It’s okay, I got it,” I snapped.

“I was only trying to help.”

“When I want your help, I’ll ask for it.”

I didn’t know if it was my hormones or the fact that I have been so angry with him. I longed for the days where he and I didn’t fight and sometimes I wished we were both back in Buffalo locked up in his bedroom having sex.

“I’m sorry that I want to help you out.”

“Thanks for offering to help but it still doesn’t justify you lying to me for six months or the fact that you treat me like shit.”

“Can we please not fight today? We’re going to find out the sex of our baby so we can stop calling the damn thing ‘it.’ I really don’t want us being mad at each other, this should be a happy time.”

“You know it would be a happy time if you didn’t act like you’re a fucking frat boy.”

“Frat boy, really?”

“Oh please, Patrick. You go out with your buddies every single night and leave me home by myself while I’m pregnant with YOUR baby. I’m lucky Jon came along and actually cares about me and the baby.”

“Jon is not the father of this baby, I am.”

“THEN START ACTING LIKE IT,” I yelled before I broke down crying and snatched Patrick’s keys out of his hands.

I stormed out to the car and slammed the door behind me, “Are you going to stop being overdramatic?”

“Overdramatic? I’m being, overdramatic?”

“Uh, yeah you kind of are.”

“I’m fucking five months pregnant with your baby, you can act like you give a shit every once and a while.”

“Where did we go wrong, Kaicee,” Patrick asked while sighing as we pulled out of the driveway.

“You let your fame go to your head and turned into an alter ego that is someone other than yourself.”

“You really think that?”

“Yeah I do, Patrick. I’m tired of the fighting and talking about this. Every time we talk about it, everything is okay between us for fifteen minutes and then we are at each other’s throats.”

“What are you saying, Kaicee?”

“I’m saying that maybe me moving here was a bad idea, I know you wanted to be in the baby’s life but Patrick what fatherly things have you done for me or the baby?”

“I’m sorry I’m not perfect like Jon is.”

“See, there you go throwing Jon up to me again. Patrick, he’s your best friend, why do you hate the fact that he is with me?”

“I don’t hate that he’s with you, I hate that he’s pretending like he is the father of this baby.”

“Be honest, do you regret ever sleeping with me?”

“God no, I liked sleeping with you and would still be sleeping with you but we both made a mistake and we have to face it.”

“Yeah, we both made a mistake but Patrick, I’m the one dealing with it. You go out every night and act like you’re not going to be a father. That’s what makes me so angry with you.”

Patrick didn’t say anything and just continued driving. I leaned my head against the window and wiped away the tear that slid down my cheek.

It amazed me how he and I always managed to have heart to heart conversations about the way he was acting but always ended up fighting again as soon as the conversation was over. I know deep down he was excited about the baby but he had a funny way of showing it.

We pulled into the doctor’s office and I got out of the car without saying a word. When we got into the doctor’s office, my anger was quickly overtaken by a sudden joy when we went into the room after my name was called.

“Miss Carter and Mr. Kane, are you ready to find out the sex of your baby,” the nurse asked us while we waited for the doctor.

“I don’t know about him,” I replied sarcastically while I glared at Patrick, “But I am.”

“I take it that daddy over there is nervous.”

“Yeah, nervous,” I fake smiled and when the nurse turned around I rolled my eyes at Patrick who glared at me in return.

“Your blood pressure is 121 over 82 which is really good and your blood work came back okay from when you had flu like symptoms last week. Just change into the gown and Dr. Castro will be in as soon as he is done.”

“Have you thought about any more names,” Patrick asked and I shook my head no.

“I still like Kendall for a girl and Evan for a boy but I can’t think of anything that goes with either name.”

I unzipped my hoodie and took it off before I put the gown on and laid back down on the table. Patrick pulled the chair over from the corner to the side of the table and I closed my eyes suddenly feeling tired.

“Kaicee, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied smiling.

“I thought you passed out or something,” Patrick said sincerely and I didn’t know how to feel about him anymore.

“I’m just really tired, it’s not fun having someone play soccer on your bladder all night.”

Patrick laughed and placed his hand on my stomach and our baby immediately kicked. Even though Patrick and I fought all of the time, it was times like these I treasured because it gave me hope that maybe just maybe Patrick was going to be a great father.

“Good morning Miss Carter, Mr. Kane, are you guys ready to find out the sex of your baby,” Dr. Castro asked as he stepped into the room.

“Yes we are,” Patrick replied smiling.

Dr. Castro lifted my gown and I shivered when the cold gel hit my stomach and Patrick instinctively reached out and grabbed my hand. I didn’t pull away this time, I was too anxious right now and I felt like I needed his hand to hold onto for this whole thing.

“There’s the head, and the feet, and I can tell what gender the baby is, are you sure you want to know?”

“We’re sure,” I replied and Patrick gave my hand a squeeze.

“Congratulations Miss Carter and Mr. Kane you two are going to be the proud parents of a baby girl.”

“Oh my God,” I shrieked and Patrick laughed.

“Kaicee, everything looks good and you will be good to go as soon as I print these pictures out. Make sure you schedule a follow up appointment. Congratulations once again,” Dr. Castro said shaking both mine and Pat’s hands before he walked out of the room and I wiped the disgusting gel off of my stomach and put my hoodie back on.

“Kendall Chelsea,” Patrick blurted out.


“Our baby, we are going to name her Kendall Chelsea Kane.”

“Okay,” I replied, “I like it, a lot.”

When we left the doctor’s office, I pulled out my phone and immediately called Donna and Pat Sr. and told them the good news. They were both beyond thrilled that it was a girl but Pat Sr. was slightly disappointed that he wasn’t getting the grandson he was hoping for. Donna said she would tell Jackie, Jessica, and Erica as soon as they got home from wherever they were.

“Patrick, can you drop me off at Jonathan’s?”

“Yeah,” he replied coldly and I chose to ignore it.

We pulled up in front of Jon’s apartment building and I got out telling Patrick that I would see him later and I headed into the building. Jon buzzed me in and I walked down the hall towards the elevators.

“How’d it go today,” Jon asked when I walked into the apartment.

“Pat and I got into a huge fight this morning about mine and your relationship and then he was extremely nice at the doctor’s appointment. His bipolar disorder thing he has going on is really starting to get on my nerves.”

Jon just rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around me, “I wish I could tell you everything was going to change but honestly, I don’t know anymore with Kaner.”

“He said that he is sick of you pretending that you are the father of Kendall.”

“It’s a girl then,” Jon asked temporarily changing the subject.

“Kendall Chelsea Kane.”

“KC for short?”

“It’ll confuse the two of us so she’ll be Kendall for the time being.”

“I like it,” Jon replied kissing my cheek, “Are you going to the game tonight?”

“No, I don’t feel good and besides it’s still just you and Patrick that know I’m pregnant.”

“I was really hoping you’d go, you know we can always tell them that the baby is your ex-boyfriend’s.”

“What about Patrick?”

“What about him, Kaicee? He doesn’t care about how you feel so why do you care about his feelings?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered, “I just want him to be happy we’re having the baby. I didn’t want this but now all of the sudden I do. It’s so different now to me since I can feel her moving inside of me. I just wish I had created her with someone I loved and not someone I despise like Patrick.”

“Come on, I’ll take you home to get something to wear to the game tonight so I can introduce you as my girlfriend.”

I smiled to myself, Jon was everything Pat wasn’t. Jon was my only reason for staying in Chicago and not going back to either Buffalo or New York City like I threatened Patrick with so many times.

I hadn’t even noticed that Jon had disappeared into his bedroom until he sat down on the couch next to me and placed the black jersey in my lap.

“What’s this for,” I asked.

“Instead of me taking you home for clothes, you can wear that tonight on top of your sweatshirt.”

“Will it fit me?”

“All of our jerseys are given to us a lot bigger than the size we wear to fit over all of our equipment so it should fit you,” Jon said then quickly blushed, “Not that I’m calling you fat or anything.”

I laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek, “It’s okay Jon, I know what you meant.”

Jon smiled and I stood up and pulled the jersey over my head. It was loose even though I was five months pregnant.

“How does it look?”

“You look beautiful,” Jon said standing up from the couch and making his way over to me, “You look way better in that than I ever could.”

“Thanks,” I replied blushing and I put my head down. Jon lifted my face so that I was looking at him and he slowly leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the lips. We’ve hung out and have went on dates within the last month but neither of us made an effort to kiss each other.

I wrapped my arms around Jon’s neck and he kissed me harder. We both pulled away for air and smiled at each other.

“Don’t let him get to you, Kaicee,” Jon whispered giving me another kiss, “He’s not worth crying over.”

“I know.” I wrapped my arms around Jon and he gave me a hug and held me close to him.

“We should get going, I have to be at United Center in twenty minutes.”

“Okay, just let me pee and fix my make-up.”

Jon laughed and I walked down the hall to his bathroom and did what I had to do. He was waiting by the door when I was ready and we both left the house hand in hand.

We arrived at the United Center and I was nervous of how Patrick was going to react to Jon introducing me to everyone as his girlfriend.

“Good evening, Mr. Toews,” the security guard said to Jon.

“Hey Rob,” Jon greeted, “Kaicee, this is Rob, Rob this is my girlfriend, Kaicee.”

“So, this must be the infamous Kaicee you always talk about,” Rob said and Jon blushed and I squeezed his hand, “I’ve heard wonderful things about you Kaicee.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Rob. I wish I could say the same,” I replied causing both he and Jonny to laugh.

We walked down the hallway to the locker room and Jon went in first to make sure everyone was decent before he opened the door and I walked in with him behind me with his hand on my back.

“Everyone,” Jon spoke up and the guys all turned around to look at him, “This is Kaicee, my girlfriend.”

“I totally told you Jonathan was going to end up banging her, pay up Burish,” Patrick Sharp said to the taller man next to him and I laughed as Jon growled low enough for only me to hear.

“Hi Kaicee,” Patrick said coming over to me, “I’m Patrick, you know your baby’s father.” He said it only loud enough so that Jon and I could hear him and it took all I could not to lash out at him in the middle of the locker room.

“Hey Kaicee, here’s your ticket for the game, go head up to your seat while I speak to Patrick…alone,” Jon whispered handing me the ticket before I gave him a quick kiss and headed out of the locker room.


“What the hell was that about,” Jonathan Toews asked his teammate and best friend when they were out of ears reach in the hallway.

“I am so sick of you fucking parading around and acting like you are the father of this baby,” Patrick Kane snapped, “What gives you the right to bring her here?”

“I’m her boyfriend and unlike you, I want to be seen in public with her.”

“I don’t want the whole fucking entire city of Chicago to know that she’s pregnant and wait a second, you’re using her for publicity. I’ve been getting all of the media attention lately and you are jealous so you are going to make people think Kendall is yours.”

“Dude, you have officially lost your fucking mind,” Jon replied, “Are you serious with this shit right now? I like Kaicee…a lot. We share a lot in common and I feel bad for her honestly.”

“Why do you feel bad for her?”

“She’s pregnant to a piece of shit like you.”

“Oh really and who would you rather have her pregnant to?”


“Like I said, you are not the fucking father of Kendall so stop acting like it. She’s my baby and I will be in her life and if I have to learn to deal with you then you can learn to deal with me being the father of Kaicee’s baby.”

“Kaicee’s having a baby,” Patrick Sharp whispered to Adam Burish as they rounded the corner to spy on their two young teammates.

“Holy shit, who’s kid is it?”

“I don’t know, I just heard Kaicee’s baby.”

“Alright homos, what’s going on,” Adam asked as they rounded the corner to where the two men were.

“Nothing, we were just talking about Kaicee,” Jon replied.

“Which one of you knocked her up,” Patrick Sharp asked.

“Neither one of us, she’s pregnant to her ex-boyfriend.”

“Are you sure about that, Kaner? The way you two are acting it’s like one of you knocked her up?”

“Bur, she’s pregnant to her ex-boyfriend that’s why she’s living in Chicago with Kaner since her parents and him bailed on her.”

“You’re dating a pregnant chick, that’s kinky.”

“Shut the fuck up, Sharpie.”

“Come on we have a game to play,” Patrick Kane spoke up, “Let’s just forget this ever happened.”

The four men walked back into the locker room as if nothing happened but deep down Patrick Kane created his own personal vendetta against Jonathan Toews. Kendall was his little girl and he was damned if he was going to accept him acting like he was the father of his baby.