Monday, July 26, 2010

Chapter 2-Sex, Lies, and Hockey

“Patrick, we need to talk.”

“You know since no one’s home, we have the whole house to ourselves,” he whispered huskily in my ear and I immediately pulled away. What I had to tell him was important and would change our lives forever.

“I really wish you wouldn’t do that,” I said pulling away.

“We haven’t had sex in two weeks, what’s wrong with this picture? Usually we’re going at it like rabbits.”

“I haven’t been feeling that well.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ve been sick in the morning and really tired. I’ve been eating like a pig and I missed my period.”

“Good, that means more sex,” he smirked.

“Patrick, are you seriously that stupid as to what I’m trying to tell you?”

My phone rang on the hottest night of the year in Buffalo. I was home all day entertaining my family from New York City that came to visit my mom, step-dad, and me. I didn’t get a chance to hang out with Erica like I normally did but it wasn’t Erica that was calling me, it was Patrick. I knew what he wanted and I wanted it too.

After the day that I had, I needed something to help me forget everything.

“Hey,” I said flipping my cell phone open.

“Your house or mine?”

“My family is here from New York City, meet me down the street in ten minutes.”

“I’m already parked,” he said and I hung up the phone. Slipping into my flip flops and throwing my hair into a ponytail, I snuck out of the house.

This is what our friends with benefits relationship had come to over the last two years, me sneaking out of my house to have sex with him or him sneaking in through my bedroom window downstairs to have sex with me.

“Hey,” I said as I climbed into the car and put my seatbelt on. Pat leaned over and grabbed my ponytail forcefully as he pulled me into a kiss.

“Just wait until we get to my house,” he replied trailing his lips down my jaw.

Pat parked his car in the driveway and we quietly walked up to the front door.

“Upstairs,” I asked.

“Nope, they’ll hear us. We’ll go downstairs like we always do. No one can hear us with the cement walls.”

“Pat,” Jackie asked from the top of the steps.

“Shit,” I mumbled and Pat pointed to the basement door.

“What’s Kaicee doing here?”

“Shhhh,” he said shushing his sister, “She needed somewhere to stay while her family is in town from New York City so I told her she can sleep downstairs.”

“Oh, does Erica know she’s here?”

“Nope and please don’t tell her either.”

“Why can’t I tell her if she’s just staying here for the night,” Jackie asked.


“Oh my God, you’re sleeping with her.”

“Go to sleep, Jackie.”

“Not until you tell me what’s going on.”

“Jesus Christ, Jackie, mind your own fucking business and go to bed. Whatever you do, DO NOT mention a word of this to Erica or you’re not getting that purse you told me you wanted for your birthday,” Pat bribed his sister.

“Whatever,” she said dropping the subject and went back to bed.

“Do you think she’ll tell,” I asked as Pat shut and locked it behind him.

“Not a chance, she wants that purse too bad,” he replied as our lips connected.

“Pat,” I moaned as he nibbled on my neck while pulling my hair out of the ponytail.

“I like your hair better when it’s down and going everywhere while I fuck you.”

I moaned again as his hand found its way to the zipper on my jeans and he slid it down before he pushed my pants down my legs never breaking the kiss.

I pushed him away and quickly pushed him against the opposite wall sliding my hands down into his sweatpants, stroking him.

“FUCK! Don’t tease me, Kaicee,” he moaned.

Before I knew what was happening, my back was on the carpet and my shirt was on the other side of the room along with my jeans.

“You picked the perfect night not to wear a bra,” he said moving his head down to suck at my breasts.

“FUCK PATRICK,” I moaned pushing my chest into his face.

“Patience, Kaicee,” he smirked as he knelt between my legs and pulled out a condom from his wallet and slipped it on before he entered me roughly.

I cried out in ecstasy as he pumped in and out, “Faster Patrick, OH FUCK,” I moaned and he picked up his pace.

“Do you like that,” he asked as I screamed his name again.

“FUCK,” I moaned as we both climaxed at the same time.

“That was amazing as always,” he said laying on top of me and we made out until we both needed air.

“We can’t keep doing this,” I said from out of nowhere, “I can’t keep lying to Erica.”

“Kaicee,” he mumbled burying his face into my neck, “I know what you mean but we both have needs and it just so happens we can satisfy each other.”

“Pat, do you like lying to your sister?”

“Do you like lying to your best friend?”

He had me right where he wanted me, speechless and tongue tied not knowing what to say since it was the same situation.

“That’s what I thought,” he said as his lips crashed down on mine again and before I knew it we were going at it for round two.

“I’m stupid,” he asked, “You’re sick, it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.”

“I’M PREGNANT, YOU JACKASS,” I screamed and he looked at me with wide eyes.

“You’re what?”

“I’m pregnant,” I repeated reaching into my jeans pocket, pulling out the pregnancy test that read ‘positive.’

“What? How?”

“I figured it out about a month ago when we had sex in the basement when my family was in town, we weren’t exactly gentle and the condom may have broke.”

“Are you going to the doctor to get a test?”

“Yeah I have an appointment at two o’clock, want to go?”

“Are you sure I’m the father?”

“Patrick, you’re the only guy that I’ve been within a year.”

“You do realize that if I am seen at that clinic, it will be in the papers and my family will grill me as well as my agent.”

“You’re unbelievable,” I said, “You’re more worried about your reputation than you are me or our unborn baby.”

“We both agreed that this was going to be just strictly friends with benefits. Never once did we sit and discuss what would happen if you got pregnant. Wait a minute, weren’t you on the pill?”

“The pill isn’t always 100% effective.”

“God, what the hell are we going to do?”

“My parents are strict Catholics and they don’t believe in abortion or the pill so they will want me to keep the baby. What are we going to tell my parents?”

“The truth,” Pat said, “Look, I know neither one of us want a relationship. We can raise this baby together without being together.”

“My parents are going to kick me out of the house.”

“You’ll live with me and my family in the summer and live with me in Chicago during the season. You know what, I don’t fucking care what the press thinks. They already hate me because of the whole taxi incident but this is my kid too and I deserve to be there.”

“You handled this a lot better than I thought you would,” I admitted, “I expected you to freak out.”

“Why would I freak out, we’re both responsible for this.”

“You have a career, I’m your sister’s best friend that you have a sexual relationship with, and we only see each other in the summer, when I visit Chicago with Erica, and when you’re here for road trips.”

“Miss Carter,” the doctor said as he came into the room, “Congratulations you are four weeks pregnant.”

“Thank you,” I replied forcing a smile and Patrick sat there frozen in his place on the chair.

“Please see the receptionist on the way out to schedule an appointment for one month from now, take one of these prenatal vitamins every day, and call me if you have any questions,” he said handing me a prescription.

I left the office scheduling an appointment and left the office without a word to Patrick as we drove to my house.

“I’ll call y-,” he started to say when I slammed the door and walked into my house.

Thank God my mom and Ron had to go to Niagara Falls to work out a deal with a Canadian firm on a piece of land that was on both the US and Canada border that called for an American realtor and a Canadian realtor to close the deal.

I flopped down on my bed with my hands on my stomach crying. I never imagined my decision to start sleeping with Patrick a year and a half ago would end with this consequence. I always imagined myself having kids one day but right now, no.

I would have to quit school after I give birth, since it’s now August and the fall semester didn’t start yet, I wouldn’t be able to start next year since I knew my parents wouldn’t watch the baby and Pat’s parents more than likely wouldn’t watch the baby.

“Kaicee, we’re home,” Ron yelled and I heard the door shut.

I pulled the blanket up over me and turned my back to the door pretending that I was sleeping.

“Kaicee,” my mom said walking into the room, “Are you awake?”

I didn’t answer and she shut the door behind her and the tears slid out of my eyes. They were going to be so disappointed when I told them about the baby.

My phone went off and I pulled it out of my pocket, flipping it open I sighed when I saw a text message from Patrick.

Are you okay?

Sighing, I replied. No

I think we need to tell our parents, I’ll come over and we could tell yours

Do you want to die?

I told my parents already, they aren’t going to say anything to Erica

I can’t believe you told them

I needed to get it off of my chest but look we really need to talk about this

I’m scared

Me too!

If I would have known this would happen, I never would have suggested we sleep together

I promise you that I am going to do my part to be a father, I’m willing to sacrifice everything for him or her.

You do realize that this changes everything now, right?

What do you mean?

We share a bond now that can never be broken, neither one of us love each other and we have a child because we were…no we are 2 horny adults that love sex

At least I know it was you that I got pregnant and not a whore from a bar

You do realize my parents are going to kick me out or try to make you marry me.

Just because we’re having a baby doesn’t mean we’re getting married. I hate when people make a man marry a woman because he got her pregnant. My parents also said that you could live here if they kicked you out but like I told you, you will live in Chicago with me during the season.

What about school? I can’t just quit.

We’ll figure something out, just calm down. We’re going to be okay!

I shut my phone and I prayed to God that he was right. Silently climbing out of bed, I walked over to my door and locked it. I grabbed my suitcase from underneath my bed and threw all of my clothes into it before I grabbed my laptop and all of my pictures. My entire room was packed, I knew my parents were going to kick me out the minute I read the test as positive so I started packing.

The doorbell rang and I felt my stomach in my throat, “Kaicee, honey, Erica’s brother is here to see you,” my mom called out from downstairs.

“I’m coming,” I replied zipping the suitcase and opening the door heading towards what could be my death sentence.

“Hey Kaicee,” Patrick said smiling and I tried to smile back but I couldn’t.

“Patrick says you two have something to tell us,” Ron said sitting down on the chair in the living room.

Patrick and I looked at each other before we sat down on the couch. My mom sat down on the arm of the chair that Ron was sitting on, both of them had their eyes on us.

“We got ourselves into a sticky situation,” Patrick began.

“What do you mean by sticky situation,” my mom asked.

“When I first met Patrick two summers ago, neither one of us were looking for a relationship and since we both sleep with people just to have sex,” I admitted, “We decided that we would start having sex with each other, a friends with benefits sort of thing.”

“You what,” Ron asked eyes wide before I finished the story.

“Last month, Pat came home from one of his teammates’ wedding and I snuck out of the house when grandma and grandpa were here with Aunt Toni and I went to his house where we had sex. The condom broke and well, there’s no easy way to say this,” I said looking at Pat who rubbed my hand encouragingly.

“She’s four weeks pregnant,” Pat said. I heard my mom gasp and I couldn’t bear to look up Ron.

“Kaicee Jade Carter,” my mom scolded, “I raised you to be a young lady not a slut. I can’t believe you got yourself into this situation.”

“Are you going to marry her,” Ron asked Patrick.

“Kaicee and I talked about this before we planned on telling you guys and no we are not getting married. We don’t even love each other and are nothing more than friends.”

“You don’t love her but you got her pregnant, typical dog of a man,” my mom said.

“Mom, Patrick isn’t the only one guilty here so don’t take it out on him. We’ve already discussed this like he said and he’s willing to own up to his responsibilities and be a dad.”

My mom and Ron were silent for a few minutes and I didn’t know what to expect.

“We want you out of our house,” my mom finally spoke, “You’re not the daughter I raised. Your father would be so disappointed in you right now if he were here. I can’t believe you let yourself get into this situation.”

“I thought you weren’t like the other girls, Kaicee,” Ron began, “I thought you were a good girl and not a whore. You disgust me and my God you will rot in hell for being the little tramp you are.”

“That wasn’t necessary,” Pat said defending me, “She’s not a tramp or a whore.”

“That’s funny coming from the guy who made her that way,” Ron chuckled and I could have slapped him.

“Patrick go wait in the car,” I said, “I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Where are you going to stay, Kaicee,” my mom asked, “A whorehouse isn’t the proper place to raise a child.”


“Don’t talk to your mother that way,” Ron said.

“Fuck you, you can go to hell,” I said slamming my door in his face. Grabbing my stuff, I reopened the door and stormed out of the house to Patrick’s Tahoe where he was waiting.

“Are you okay,” he asked.

“Do I fucking look okay to you?”

“Everything will work out, I promise,” Patrick said pulling me to him and I wrapped my arms around him.

“They called me a whore,” I sobbed into his chest.

“You’re not a whore.”

“I am too, I’m a fucking slut who let you get her pregnant.”

Patrick sighed and let me go as he started the car and we headed towards his house.

“Kaicee,” Donna said running to the car, “Everything is going to be okay sweetie.”

“I’m a whore,” I sobbed and she wrapped her arms tighter around me.

“No you’re not, we all make mistakes but I’m glad it’s you my son got pregnant and not some random puck slut,” she replied rubbing my back.

“I guess we should tell Erica now,” Patrick said and I nodded my head as we walked into the house.

“Erica, can you come downstairs for a minute,” Pat asked his daughter, “Your brother needs to talk to you.”

“We’ll be in the kitchen,” Donna said, “We’ll leave you two to tell her.”

“Hey Kaicee, what are you doing here,” she asked hugging me.

“You may want to sit down, we need to talk,” I replied and she looked at Patrick and I with a scared look before she sat down on the couch across from us.

“Kaicee’s pregnant,” Patrick said and Erica’s eyes went wide.

“Kaicee, didn’t I tell you that sleeping around was going to lead to this,” Erica began, “Who’s the father?”

“I am,” Patrick mumbled.

“WHAT,” she screamed, “HOW? WHEN? WHY?”

“Two summers ago we started a friends with benefits relationship,” I said, “Every time I’d sleep over, we’d have sex then we started sneaking into each other’s houses and well last month he snuck me in here and the condom broke and I’m pregnant.”

“WHAT THE FUCK,” she screamed, “I can’t fucking believe this.”

“I’m sorry,” Patrick said.

“You should be sorry, Patrick, you fucked my best friend.”

“I’m sorry too, I never meant for it to get this far.”

“Kaicee, I can’t believe you’d fucking betray me like this. What are you going to do now? You’re parents are going to fucking kick you out of the house.”

“They already did,” Patrick stated, “She’s going to live here until the season starts then she is coming to Chicago to live with me.”

“Are you two dating,” she asked calmly.

“No, we don’t even think of each other like that,” I replied.

“You don’t think of each other like that yet you two can fuck each other with no feelings involved. You do know this baby is going to change everything.”

“We know,” Patrick said, “Which is why we agreed that even though Kaicee’s pregnant we are still going to be friends but it’ll be two friends having a baby with the other.”

“Are you mad,” I asked, “Wait, don’t answer that, it was a stupid question.”

“I’m pissed off beyond belief. I just can’t believe you two would do this,” Erica cried, “I thought I could trust the two of you. I am the aunt of this child though so I’m going to have to learn to live with it and spoil this kid rotten.”

“We’re sorry, we really are,” Patrick said.

“I know but it’s going to be forever before I forgive the two of you. Kaicee, you can stay in my room.”

That night when everyone went to sleep, I found myself sneaking off into Patrick’s room. Instead of having sex like we normally did, we stayed up and discussed names for the baby. It was down to either Gia or Kendall for a girl and either Patrick Timothy the third or Evan for a boy.

I really liked Kendall for a girl and Evan for a boy. That night when I finally fell asleep, I fell asleep in Patrick’s room. He had his head on my stomach listening for our baby. I ran my fingers through his hair and I still didn’t see a future with him. He was just the father of my baby, nothing more, and nothing less.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Chapter 1-Empire State of Mind

Moving to Buffalo from New York City was a huge step in mine and my mom’s new life. She had just married her new husband and my step-dad, Ron. My biological father died in the September 11 terrorist attacks when the World Trade Center he was in collapsed, he was a firefighter for the FDNY.

I remember that day like it was yesterday, my dad left for work and my mom was making me breakfast as I got ready for school in our two bedroom apartment in Brooklyn.

I was on my way out the door to catch my school bus when my mom and I saw the plane fly over our heads and towards the city. Our neighbor’s watched in horror as the plane crashed into the South tower. My dad never did come home that day, he was trapped under the rubble and found dead a week after the attack.

I sighed as we stepped out of the car in front of my new house in Buffalo. My mom met Ron three years after my dad died, she swore she’d never love again but when she started her new job at a small real-estate agency that all changed.

Ron was her boss and they got to know each other when they were working to close a real-estate deal with one of the New York Rangers.

After dinner and a few dates, they decided we should all move in together. I never had a problem with Ron, he treated me like I was his own daughter.

When I moved to Buffalo, I was a junior in high school. I joined the cheerleading squad since I cheered back home in New York City. That’s where I met my best friend. Erica was a cheerleader for one year before she quit. I quit when she did because none of the girls liked us.

They were jealous of Erica because her brother was a professional hockey player, Patrick played for the Chicago Blackhawks and was in his rookie year with the team. Erica would frequently go to Chicago with her parents and her two sisters to visit him but I would stay behind since I never met him.

I didn’t meet Patrick until the summer of 2008 when he came home from Chicago. It was the summer after his rookie season and he was coming home for three months. I didn’t know what to expect, in fact I was kind of scared at first.

He probably thought I was only friends with Erica because he was who he was. Truth be told I went to one hockey game in my life and hated it. My dad took me to the Rangers vs. Red Wings game when I was ten and the sport was too aggressive for me. I loved football but they weren’t allowed to fight like hockey players were. My thoughts about hockey players changed when I met Patrick that fateful night so long ago.

I was sitting in the Kane family’s living room watching a movie, Erica was sound asleep in her room and I didn’t want to wake her up by turning on the TV so I opted for the living room. It was the first weekend of summer and Erica promised me that this summer would change our lives forever. We were entering our senior year next year and everything was finally going to go our way.

I was halfway through the pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream when the door opened and I saw the curly head of blonde hair and the baby blue eyes. I immediately recognized him from the pictures on the walls of the house as Patrick, Erica’s brother.

“Holy shit, you scared me,” he said smiling walking into the house, “I’m Patrick by the way, you must be Kaicee.”

“How’d you know?”

“My sister did nothing but talk about you and text you the entire time she was in Chicago over Christmas.”

He and I both laughed and I turned the TV off and headed for the kitchen, “Where are you going,” he asked.

“I’m going to wash my spoon and throw my empty ice cream container away and then I am going to bed. I don’t want to disturb you.”

“You’re not disturbing me at all, I’m somewhat a night owl and never go to sleep so feel free to stay up and talk to me.”

Now it was my turn to smile as he headed up the stairs into his room and I sat at the dining room table reading ‘Eclipse’ by Stephenie Meyers.

“I don’t understand how you girls can read that shit,” Pat said sitting down next to me, “Really a glittering vampire and a werewolf on steroids, no wonder people think teenagers are illiterate.”

“You sure do know a lot about the books for hating them.”

“Hey those three brats upstairs make me read the books. If my teammates found out about that I’d be made fun of so much in the locker room.”

“You’re secret is safe with me,” I said smiling and Pat stood up walking into the kitchen rummaging through the freezer to find something to eat.

“Shit, there’s nothing in here,” he said opening the refrigerator door.

As he bent down to look, I couldn’t help but check him out. He was no taller than five foot nine maybe five foot ten at the most. For a hockey player he was really small but his body was toned and athletic. His hair was blonde and curly and he had the prettiest blue eyes that I have ever seen.        

He was totally my type but I didn’t do relationships since I had my heart broken by a guy who cheated on me so I did friends with benefits relationships much to Erica’s dismay.

“Look in one of the drawers, your mom saved pot roast.”

“Thanks,” he said looking up and smiling.

“No problem,” I replied turning my attention back to my book.

“So tell me about yourself.”

“My name is Kaicee Jones and I just moved to Buffalo this past year. I was born and raised in New York City until my mom remarried and relocated here with my step-dad.”

“Step-dad,” Pat questioned.

“My dad died on September 11, he was a firefighter with the FDNY. He died in the World Trade Center when it collapsed.”

“I’m so sorry,” Pat said rubbing my hand.

“It’s okay, he’s a hero to an entire nation and he was the best dad that a child could ever have.”

Pat smiled and took a bite of his food before he started talking about his hockey season since I asked him about it.

“You a hockey fan?”

“I wish I could say that I was but my dad took me to a game when I was little and I hated the fights and stuff like that.”

“It’s part of the game.”

“I know but there’s no point in fighting, they don’t fight in football.”

“That’s because football is for pansies.”

“I happen to like football thank you very much.”

“I never said that I didn’t like it but football players are softies and we sacrifice our teeth and our bodies on the ice every single night.”

I laughed and Pat rolled his eyes smiling . I yawned while shutting my book.

“Tired,” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m going to head to bed. It was nice meeting you.”

“It was nice meeting you too, see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah see you tomorrow,” I replied, “Goodnight Patrick.”

“Night Kaicee.”

I walked up the stairs and into Erica’s room laying down on the floor and I immediately fell asleep.

That summer changed everything for me, Patrick hung out with Erica and I a lot but one night that all changed.

I walked out of the bathroom and down the hall to go back towards Erica’s room when I heard Pat call my name.

“Kaicee,” Pat’s voice said from the door that was slightly cracked. I saw the glint of the television and opened the door slightly.

Pat was laying on his stomach facing the TV watching a tape of one of his games.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping right now,” I asked.

“I couldn’t sleep, I can’t believe summer’s almost over.”

“Me neither, it flew by. I don’t even want to think about going back to school.

“I hated school, that’s why I’m happy I’m out of that God forsaken place.”

“What’d you call me in here for?”

“Want to watch this game with me and see if it will change your mind about how you feel about hockey?”

“Pat, it’s almost four in the morning.”

“So, you’re up and so am I, we’ll keep each other company.”

I smiled and sat down on the bed with my back against the headboard.

“I don’t bite,” Pat said smiling and patting the spot next to him on the bed.

I slid down and laid down next to him watching the game.

“See Troy is fighting that douche bag because he hit Jon with intent to injure him so Troy is sticking up for Jon.”

“Jon can’t fight for himself,” I asked.

“That’s why guys like Adam and Troy are called enforcers, they pretty much fight for us.”

“…and you called football players pansies.”

“Shut up,” Pat laughed and I smiled turning my attention back to the TV.

“So,” I began breaking the silence, “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Nope, I don’t do relationships. How about you, boyfriend?”

“I don’t do relationships either, I had my heartbroken so I refuse to date.”

Pat just sat there watching the game intently not saying anything.

“So,  do you do friends with benefits or anything like that,” I asked.

“I sleep with girls back in Chicago, hit them and leave them kind of thing. I really need to find a girl though that I can do whenever I want because I don’t trust many of the girls that I sleep with.”

“I had one of those for a while, a guy that I knew from work, all we would do was sleep together, he wasn’t looking for anything serious and neither was I.”

“What happened to him?”

“He went to jail for statutory rape, he raped another girl we worked with.”

“WOW,” Pat said and I continued to watch the game slowly growing fond of the sport.

We sat there in silence and eventually the game ended and I stood up from the bed.

“Where are you going,” Pat asked.

“I’m going to bed, I’ll see you in the morning but first can I ask you something first and you can completely say no to this and I’d understand.”

“Sure, go ahead.”

I can’t believe I was about to ask my best friend’s brother if he wanted to be my fuck buddy.

“I find you extremely attractive, your eyes and your hair make you hot as hell to me and I was wondering that since neither one of us do relationships and you’re looking for that one girl to sleep with that we can work something out.”

Pat stood up from the bed smirking and I smiled, “I find you fucking sexy as hell, I’ve been dying to get in your pants since the night I met you so I definitely think we could work something out,” he said pinning me against the wall crashing his lips to mine.

That’s the night our relationship changed and how we ended up here today, two horny teenagers who hated relationships and loved sex.

That was two years ago and Pat and I still had casual sex with no strings attached whenever he came home for the summer and when he was on the road with the Blackhawks in Buffalo.

Our whole situation we’re in now started last summer when I decided to sleep on the back porch. I loved the outdoors and sleeping outside calmed me. Even though it was extremely hot, I found it comfortable.

I remember two arms wrapping around my waist and when I woke up Patrick mumbled the words he always said to me.

“Hey what do you say we go upstairs?”

That’s how Patrick Kane and I became daytime friends and nighttime lovers.