Kaicee was in the bathroom giving Kendall a bath when Pat came in and sat down on the closed lid of the toilet. Kendall was lying in the baby tub and Kaicee was washing her hair with her back to the door.
“Hey,” Pat said awkwardly and Kaicee turned around.
“Want me to do anything?”
“She’s almost done.”
Pat smiled slightly, “Can I still come with you guys today?”
“If you want to, are you sure you don’t have better things to do,” Kaicee replied picking Kendall up and Pat handed her the towel that she was looking for.
“I’m trying here, here let me take her,” he said holding his arms out and Kaicee hesitated but handed Kendall to Patrick who wrapped her in the towel.
“We have a lot to talk about,” she replied, “A lot was said and done but we need to be civil with each other and actually discuss it instead of being at each other’s throats about everything.”
“I know,” Pat sighed standing up placing Kendall on his chest. She had her head on his shoulder and he kissed her head.
“I’m tired of fighting, Patrick; it’s not good for Kendall.”
Pat looked up from Kendall to Kaicee and he felt his heart break as she stared back at him with bloodshot eyes. He knew she cried herself to sleep the night before, he heard her but he was too much of a coward to go and comfort her and apologize for everything.
“We’ll talk later,” he mumbled walking into his room to get Kendall dressed. Kaicee finished getting dressed and Pat came out of the room holding Kendall who was wearing the pink onesie with “Daddy 88” on the back, a pink Hawks headband with a bow, a pink skirt, and her Jordan shoes that Pat had bought her.
“At least you know how to dress her,” Kaicee said trying to make conversation and Pat laughed.
“Say, ‘Naw mommy, I’m a young stunna, stuntin’ like my daddy,’” Pat sad waving Kendall’s hand and smiling.
Kaicee laughed and grabbed the diaper bag off the bed and her purse, “You did not just quote Lil Wayne.
Pat laughed, “Yeah I did.”
Kaicee rolled her eyes enjoying the civil conversation between them, “Are you still okay with going to the zoo? If we go to the park you may not be recognized that much.”
“Zoo’s fine,” Pat replied, “Do you want to drive or do you want me to drive?”
“I’ll drive since the car seat is in my car already.”
“Alright,” he replied as they walked down the driveway to the car.
“I’ll show you how to work the car seat.”
“That will come in handy,” Pat smiled as Kaicee showed him how to install and remove the car seat as well as how to buckle Kendall in.
Pat buckled Kendall in and climbed into the passenger seat. Kaicee pulled out of the driveway and headed towards the Buffalo Zoo. The car was silent the whole way, neither Pat nor Kaicee knew what to say to each other. This was the first time both of them were attempting to meet at a halfway point and make a step towards getting along for Kendall’s sake.
Kaicee grabbed the stroller out of the trunk and Pat unbuckled Kendall from the car seat.
“Having trouble,” Kaicee laughed and Pat sighed before smiling.
“Kind of,” he laughed, “These things are prison for babies.”
“Tell me about it, it took me a week to learn how to do it the right way.”
Kaicee unfastened Kendall and Pat leaned in and took her out gently. She was sleeping and Pat held her against his chest. He was warming up to finally being a father and Kaicee smiled at how content Kendall looked.
“At least I know how a stroller works,” he said placing Kendall down gently before putting a blanket over her body.
Kaicee locked the car after grabbing the diaper bag and her money out of her purse before she placed it in the trunk and locked it.
“I got it,” Pat said pulling out his wallet when Kaicee went to pay.
“Pat, it’s no big deal.”
“Shut up,” he said smiling as he handed the attendant his credit card.
When they were on the elevator since the stroller obviously wasn’t able to go on the escalator, Kaicee received a text from Erica asking where she was.
Where are you?
At the zoo with Kendall and Patrick
Feed my brother to the lions
He’s actually being nice
Look where that has gotten you before
I know, I’ll text you later
Okay and remember what I said, if he starts fighting feed his ass to the lions
LOL! You got it
Pat pushed the stroller as the elevator doors opened.
“Excuse me, would you guys like your picture taken,” the young zoo employee asked Pat who looked at Kaicee.
“What do you say? You up for it,” Pat asked Kaicee who stood there shocked at his sudden change in attitude, “I know we haven’t been the best of friends but it’ll be nice to have a picture of the three of us.”
“Okay,” she replied smiling slightly.
Pat picked Kendall up from the stroller and held her against him and he put his arm around Kaicee as the young girl snapped the picture.
“That’s cute, come on kiss her or something,” she said enthusiastically.
“That’s not a good idea, you see we kind of ha--,” she went to say before she was cut off by Pat’s lips crashing down on hers as he held Kendall in one arm while his other arm held Kaicee close to him.
“Great picture,” the young girl shouted and Pat pulled away smiling awkwardly as Kaicee stood their stunned.
“I need to go um…use the bathroom,” Kaicee said at a loss for words as she headed towards the bathroom.
Pat put Kendall back in her stroller and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, he didn’t know what came over him and he was worried that he fucked everything up ten times worse than he already had.
Kaicee stood in the mirror and flashed cold water over her face. She wanted to shatter her own reflection for feeling sparks when Pat kissed her. She hated him, he made her life hell and he didn’t want to be Kendall’s father.
Wiping her face with a paper towel, she headed back out reluctantly to where Pat was waiting.
“Are you okay,” he asked, “Listen, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, I don’t know what came over me.”
“You can’t do that again,” Kaicee said, “Just don’t.”
“We’re not together, Patrick. We hate each other, you hate me for ruining your life and I hate you for being an asshole the last nine months and making my life a living hell. I almost lost Kendall because of you.”
“What do you mean you almost lost her because of me?”
“We got into an argument before you left for you one road trip and I went into false labor. Had Kendall have born at the time that happened, she would have been dead because she wouldn’t have been able to survive on her own because her lungs weren’t developed. You hate me for ruining your life and you have said so much shit to me that has been hurtful. I don’t know why I have never hit you, I seriously wanted to punch you in the face last night when you said what you did. Patrick, like it or not, we have a daughter that needs the both of us in her life. I figured you’d come with me today so I could try to talk to you but then you kissed me and I really wanted to hit you. You can’t expect me to just forget everything that happened. I don’t know who you are or what you have became over the last nine months but it sure as hell wasn’t the Patrick I remember.”
Pat put his head down and looked at Kendall who was facing him in her stroller, he looked over at Kaicee who had put her head down on her arms.
“Don’t cry, Kaicee,” he said putting his arm around her back, “I’m so sorry for everything. I stayed up all night thinking about the way that I have treated you. It took my whole family to tell me what a scum bag I was for treating you that way. I had no idea you almost lost Kendall. God, I don’t know what I would have done if you would have. I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to her. I definitely don’t want to hurt you anymore and I really wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I lost you either.”
“I heard something last night that I need to ask you about,” Kaicee said looking up at Patrick.
“What did you hear?”
“I was coming into your room to get Kendall and I heard you talking to her.”
Patrick froze before swallowing hard, “How much did you hear?”
“I heard her telling her that you loved her but then I also heard you say that you loved me, Pat I need you to be honest with me. If you love me, why did you hurt me all of those months?”
“I was stupid, that’s why. No one knows what I go through, what it’s like to be judged by the media every time something happens with me. When I was arrested last summer, they put me a microscope. Every time I fuck up, it’s front page news. I knew that if I fucked everything up, it would ruin me. I did fuck up Kaicee, I fucked up big time. I don’t know the side of me that came out in the fights and I sure as hell didn’t like the monster that fought with you last night.”
“You didn’t answer the first part of my question, do you love me?”
“Of course I love you, you’re the mother of my child.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Why do you care anyway? You have Jon.”
“We broke up,” Kaicee replied, “We broke it off before I came back.”
“He told me he loved me and I didn’t answer him and he asked me if I was in love with someone else and I told him yes.”
“What the hell? How did you find someone else and I didn’t know about it? Is it another one of the Hawks?”
“Is it Steeger?”
“No, he has a girlfriend.”
“Oh yeah, he’s real attractive with that bright ass hair…not,” Kaicee replied sarcastically.
“Then who is it?”
“Maybe you should look in the mirror,” Kaicee replied standing up pushing the stroller away and heading towards the entrance to the exhibits.
“Maybe you should look in the mirror,” Pat though when a light bulb went off, “Kaicee,” he called out and she stopped turning around.
“What,” she snapped and Pat wrapped his arms around her
“I love you, too.”
Kaicee pulled away from the stroller and felt the tears roll down her cheeks as she put her arms around Pat and he hugged her to him.
“I’m so sorry for everything, I have so much to make up to you. I was such an asshole, I’m getting help from one of the counselors with the team. I’m so sorry for everything, I don’t even know how to apologize because what I did was terrible.”
“I’m not ready to forgive you just yet, you have to work for my trust. Just promise me you’ll be there for Kendall.”
“I’ll be there for her and for you but you have to do me a favor!”
“When we leave here, we take her home and ask my mom or one of my sisters if they can watch her and we go out. It stopped being about sex with you a long time ago, I want a relationship Kaicee. A real relationship, I’m so tired of fucking around. I want to know what it’s like to be in love. We can pretend Kendall doesn’t exist for one night. We need to get to know each other and I need to show you how sorry I am for everything, please go?”
The day went by faster than they would have liked it to. Pat had a good time and Kaicee was still in shock with what had happened that she barely said anything all day. When they arrived home, the entire Kane family was surprised to see that they were getting along and that they were going to have dinner together that night.
Donna jumped at the chance to watch her granddaughter. She was just happy they were getting along from out of nowhere. They went from hating each other the day before to getting along the next day.
At dinner, Pat and Kaicee didn’t know what to say to each other. Kaicee was the first one to break the silence asking Pat about the end of the season and in return he asked her things he never knew about her and he apologized over and over again for what he had done.
They got home and Kaicee changed into pajama shorts and a t-shirt before getting Kendall ready for bed. She walked into Pat’s room where he was sitting on the bed shirtless and watching a movie.
“She’s already sleeping,” he asked.
“That’s what babies do, Pat,” Kaicee replied, “They sleep a lot the first couple of months.”
“Want to watch a movie?”
“Not tonight, I’m tired so I think I’m going to bed.”
“You can sleep in here, if you want. That way if she wakes up, you’re here already.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Come on, it’s not like we haven’t share a bed before. We have a lot to talk about still and my mom won’t care, how else do you think she knows Kendall got here?”
Kaicee rolled her eyes and walked over to Pat’s bed. He moved over and she crawled in next to him.
“Goodnight, Kaicee,” he said turning off the lamp placing a kiss on her forehead.
“Night Pat,” she said turning to face the crib. Pat watched her sleep and he wanted to touch her but he didn’t want to push his limits. He didn’t want them to be right back where they started from. He closed his eyes and saw his daughter’s face and for the first time in his life, Patrick knew he had to change. Not only for himself and his career but for his daughter, it was never too late to do it and Pat promised he’d never hurt Kaicee again, he just hoped he could keep that promise.